Chapter Two

                                                                                                                          ~Baby Steps~

BPOV

"Oh my word, oh, oh, she's waking up. Somebody get the doctor in here!"

"Bee…Sweet Bee… can you hear my voice, love?"

"Sweet Bee, can you squeeze my hand? Squeeze my hand if you can hear my voice, Bee."

I can hear you. I can feel my hand in your hand. I'm squeezing. Wait, am I squeezing? I don't know if it's—

"Doctor! Isabella's awake and she's following my directions…sort of! Her eyelids are fluttering and she's wiggling her fingers in my hand after I asked her to squeeze. That's a good sign, right? You said she might not be able to do anything when she woke up! But she's doing stuff! Isn't this great news? It's great, right?"

Hang on, sort of? Of course I can squeeze your hand, why wouldn't I be able to do that?

Bella's home in Loveladies, NJ

The piercing beep of the alarm startles me out of yet another foggy dream that yields no new answers. Three Shirley Temples, in bed by midnight, and yet I still feel like I've been hit by a steamroller.

I have no legitimate reason to be tired except for what I assume is depression. Something I do remember clearly from my childhood. Always wanting to pull the covers over my head and sleep if things didn't go my way. And let's face it…they almost always went my way. I don't ever remember being denied as a child. My dad worked very hard to give Mom and me the life that we had. I miss him. I miss my Dad so much. I can't say the same about my mom. It's harder for me to remember her. I know she was there for my childhood, but I remember spending more time with the housekeeper than I did with my mom. She always had shopping trips and spa weekends planned. Naturally, they never included me. She had her clique of friends and that was enough for her. I think she loved my Dad. I know he loved her. But he was my hero. That much I can definitely remember.

It gets harder to recall things from my teen years; things get fuzzy after middle school. I suppose that's why I'm here now. Aunt Didi meant for me to come home to the shore. Come home to her house where I spent many childhood summers; she lived here year-round until she was needed in Moorestown for me. She spoke to me about moving back to Loveladies once she was finally gone. We had time to work through a few of those details, at least. No reason for one person to have two humongous houses. Who am I, Rockefeller? I'm already lonely enough. I don't need an additional 20,000 square feet to remind me of my situation.

Ugh, no reason to wallow at this early hour. Rose and Emmett will be here soon to help me organize a bit and start turning this house into more of a living space and less of a museum. No offense to Aunt Didi, but I won't be able to live like this. She was such an artsy-fartsy lady and kept things immaculately clean. If the floor doesn't have white carpeting, the room is outfitted in white furniture. I can't even be trusted with a toothbrush because I inevitably splatter spit bubbles all over my shirt. How would I ever thrive in a house like this? Unless I stay alive by drinking only water and eating white Wonder Bread while standing over the kitchen sink, I'm doomed.

I'm a spiller. I spill and splatter and fall and trip and have no grace or depth perception whatsoever. Hence, the carpeting and furniture are going to be the first things to go.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. At this point, I just need help taking down all of the sheets that cover every major piece of furniture and artwork on all three floors of this amazing home.

                                                                                           ~~~~~L~A~S~T~C~A~L~L~~~~~

"Hey girl! The cavalry has arrived! Nice digs, by the way!"

I have to laugh. Emmett is standing on the front porch looking like Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. Tool belt in place on his hips and Rose rolling her eyes and shaking her head behind him, they wander in and make themselves comfy in what is now my new home.

"Thanks guys. I'm pretty sure that's all you're going to hear me say for a while, so I'm hoping it doesn't lose its luster for you. But I'd seriously be up a creek if I didn't have you two to help me."

"Bells, it's all good. That's what we're here for. We're your family now. Whatever you need, okay?"

I sigh through a smile, always relieved to hear him say that. "Okay. Thanks."

"You got it. Now what's the deal? Where do we start?"

"Well, let me give you the guided tour so you know the layout. Leave a trail of breadcrumbs if you need to, I'll understand. It's a little on the outrageous side," I joke, but in all honesty, this house could seriously benefit from those information kiosks they have in the malls with the floor plan of the building and the red dot saying, 'You are here'.

 

Emmett & Rosalie McCarty

As I lead Emmett and Rose from room to room, they grow silent; just breathy gasps heard every now and then and of course I know why. It's this house. One person never needs this much space. I don't know why Aunt Didi ever stayed on here after Uncle Marcus passed away. High society mentality, I suppose. They were always surrounded by the upper crust. She continued to host events and galas in support of the charities and causes she loved so dearly. She never truly cared about wealth for herself, but she cared that she could help others with it, so that's what she did. It was who she was. I wish I could've had more time with her.

"So yeah, anyway, I know that it's a lot to take in, but once –"

Emmett cut me off. "Bella. This place is gargantuan. I don't know what you're going to do with it all, but until you figure it out, we'll have one helluva summer partying like P-Diddy in the Hamptons, fo shizzle!"

I look over at Rose who's shaking her head. "Emmett? Who the hell says 'fo shizzle'?" He starts to tell her but she holds her hand up. "Know what? I don't even want to know. I just ask that you don't say it around me anymore…you sound insane, babe."

Ahhh Rose. Ever the prim and proper lady. Nobody "fo shizzles" around her and gets away with it.

Emmett just cracks up silently, he's forever pressing his wife's buttons.

"Anyway, I guess I just want us to take down all the sheets and make the house look sort of lived in, at this point. I also would love for all of the windows to be opened up to let some fresh air swoop in and filter out the stale. The next step is to call in a cleaning service because there's no way I'm gonna clean this place from top to bottom on my own. "

Ten minutes later, we make it back in one piece and wander into the kitchen to lay out a game plan.

"So, are you going to redecorate before or after the memorial service"? Rose asks as she helps herself to three bottles of water and tosses one to each of us.

"After, definitely after. I want to get this memorial planned and executed so that I can start fresh once it is over. Does that sound harsh?"

"Nope, not at all. Makes sense to spiffy the house up, have the memorial service, and then start turning this place into your home, not just somebody else's place that was willed to you."

                                                                                       ~~~~~L~A~S~T~C~A~L~L~~~~~

Ninety minutes later, we're sitting around the kitchen island eating lunch that I ordered from the closest restaurant that delivers to Loveladies this early in the day.

"Ugh. This pizza tastes like crap." Emmett throws his half-eaten slice back onto his plate. "No offense, Bells. What a waste of calories."

"Oh stop, Em, it does not. You're just excited that it's summer and you're not eating Mack and Manco," Rose scolds.

"Am I supposed to know what Mack and Manco means?" I question.

Emmett clutches his heart as if my words have caused palpitations.

"Bells. Mack and Manco is the best, THE BEST pizza around. Granted, it's down in Ocean City which is like an hour away, but it's summertime and it's tradition."

"Well this seemed edible enough," I hedge, knowing I'm treading on thin ice when debating with Emmett about food quality and, more specifically, pizza standards.

"Edible, but just barely. Bells, seriously, Mack and Manco will change your life. Mmmph. Thin crust, lots of sauce that shoots out of a tube, cheesy goodness. It's a summer staple. That and Kohr Brother's ice cream. Don't worry…we'll make a day of it soon…you, me and Rosie. We can head down there for an afternoon and evening of mini-golf and walking the boards. Rosie and I do it at least a few times a month over the summer. We eat our way from one end of the boardwalk to the other. There's nothing like it, nothing."

"Sauce that shoots out of a tube, huh? Sounds classy!"

"Trust me, Bella. It'll change your life. In fact…we're totally going next week. When are you available?"

Is he serious with this? I live alone in a beach mansion. The only people I'm remotely close with are either in this room or in a hospital and rehab center in Camden. My dance card is severely lacking these days.

"Emmett, how about you tell me when we're going. I have to meet with the caterer to start planning for the memorial service. Oh, and I have to return two phone calls to Sotheby's and Christie's…those are my plans. FOR. THE. WEEK. Pretty hectic, as you can see." I punctuate my sarcasm with a roll of the eyes, which causes him to leap across the table and smother me with a hug.

"Aww, Bells…it's all good! Ocean City makes everyone feel better…way better than spending your week talking to stuffy auctioneers, that's for sure!"

I laugh. "They aren't the actual auctioneers who I have to speak with, just their specialist's assistants, I believe. As soon as Aunt Didi's obituary hit the New York Times, my phone started ringing off the hook." I'm actually very much looking forward to moving along with an auction. I'm certainly not in it for the money, well at least not for me. I'm anxious to continue to help the charities that Aunt Didyme championed and give them the profits from whatever her art, furniture, and jewelry earns at auction. That alone will help me to feel like I've accomplished something after feeling so stagnant for the last three plus years.

                                                                                             ~~~~~L~A~S~T~C~A~L~L~~~~

"So where did you hear of this place again?"

"Alice gave Emmett the name. It's owned and run by Jasper's roommate from undergrad. They don't get to see each other very often because of Jazz's crazy hours at the hospital, but they're like best friends, I think," Rose explains.

"Okay, sounds fine by me. It certainly helps when people know people...considering I don't know anybody. And even if I do know them, I can't remember them, ha!" I give her my best sarcastic and toothy grin.

"Bella—"

"I know, I know. Stop the self-deprecating humor."

"Self-deprecating humor I can handle. It's the fact that you have no mercy on yourself whatsoever. You allow no room for error, no leeway at all. How're you ever going to adjust or make any progress if you're so damn hard on yourself all the time?"

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'll relax. Rome wasn't built in a day, right? That is the saying, isn't it? I can't remember."

Now she's laughing. "Yeah, that's the saying, you goober."

Way to deflect, Bella. Score one for you.

"Well it's a clever name anyway, The Four Seas. Cullenary Cuisines, Confections & Catering. Oh my gosh! Get it? Four letter 'C's? Oh, and his last name is Cullen! And he spelled culinary with his name instead of the actual spelling! Ha! This guy's a trip!"

Rose chuckles, "Yeah, I get it. That is tricky. Ya gotta have a gimmick, right?"

"And we're meeting with the owner?"

"Yup. Noon appointment with Edward Cullen…aaand here we are! That was easy enough!" Rose sings as we slow to a stop.

We pull up in front of a beautiful Victorian home on a corner piece of property on the bay in 

Four Seas Bed & Breakfast

Ship Bottom. Three floors, pale yellow with white shutters and a fantastic white porch that looks like it wraps around the entire house. Window boxes bursting with color under each window. Lush red potted geraniums hang every three feet from the porch's ceiling. There are a couple of rocking chairs to the left of the front door and a porch swing on the right. I love the look of a porch swing. It just seems so welcoming and gives off a loving family vibe.

It makes me dream about a future someday; a future with a man by my side pushing us while we sit, using his foot as our motor. Drinking a cup of tea at the end of the night, at the end of a weekend where we just hosted our children and grandchildren for a visit. This is what I dream of in between the silence and vast crevasses of nothingness. I try for these dreams as best I can. Hands down, they eclipse the memories of waking up to beeping machines and shouts of confusion and elation by nurses and my aunt.

These dreams, however, come at a cost. A double-edged sword, really. Dreams of happiness with a man and our future family, yet here I am with no family to speak of at all. No mom to share secrets with after a first date. No dad to stand disapprovingly behind me at the front door as my date comes to pick me up. They're gone. They've been gone for over three years. Aunt Didi was my link, but now that I've lost her, I'll have no one to stand in those roles, to fill those shoes.

It makes me sad. Really sad. Again with the pity party.

Enough. Enough for now. Let's go choose some butlered hors d'oeuvres and petit fours.

Rosalie comes around the car, grabs my hand, and gives it a squeeze as we prepare to make plans for the final goodbye for Didyme Swan Harrington.

Rose knocks with fervor on the front door, but we get no answer. She goes to rap at the knocker a second time, and the door swings wide as we both plaster cheesy smiles on our faces.

A very good looking guy is standing there with a welcoming smile on his face. He's got sandy brown hair, cut close to his head, crystal blue eyes, and a phenomenal tan. Clearly this guy enjoys his time on the beach.

"Hi, we have a noon appointment with a Mr. Edward Cullen." Rose pipes up.

"Sorry ladies, the man of the house isn't here right now. I'm Edward's brother James, co-owner of Four Seas. Pleasure to meet you both."  His smile widens even more. "Which one of you is the lovely Ms. King?"


James Cullen

I step forward with my right hand outstretched.

"Hi James, it's nice to meet you too, please call me Bella; this is my girlfriend, Rose."

Rose offers a genuine smile and her hand.  

"Please come on in and we can get started. I'm sorry Edward isn't here right now. He was supposed to take care of your appointment, but there was an emergency down at the restaurant and they needed a manager there pronto. He drew the short straw, so he's there with a leaky toilet and I'm here with you two gorgeous girls."

I chuckle, embarrassed at this guy's flattery. He seems to be laying it on a little thick, but then again, I have no basis of judgment. So instead, I just feel the heat rise in my cheeks and look down at the ground, suddenly fascinated with my peep-toe sandals.

                                                                                           ~~~~~L~A~S~T~C~A~L~L~~~~~

"Well, Bella, I think we have a very good idea of what you are looking for. I'll go over the menu with Edward when I see him and we should be fine for the tasting that we have set up for next week. Do you have any other questions?"

"Nope, nothing I can think of. Rose, do you think we've covered all the bases with regard to food and service?"

"Yeah, I think we're fine. Thanks for your time, James."

We stand to exit and James comes around and quickly pulls my chair out for me. I glance to the side and see Rose smile to herself, which of course causes me to roll my eyes.

"No, thank you ladies. It's been a pleasure. I'll be sure to follow up once I speak with Edward."

We make our way out the front door as James continues.

"Have a good afternoon, Rosalie…Bella." James offers a nod and asmile that seems genuine and heartfelt, again bringing my blush to the surface. Clearly I need to spend more time around the available members of the opposite sex. I'm blushing left and right.

This can't be normal. I spend most of my free time with Emmett who's married to Rose. Before that, it was doctors, nurses, and therapists of every specialty. I certainly never thought of any of them as being potential suitors. Now I'm pinking up for a guy who just threw a simple smile my way.

Relax, Bella, he hasn't popped the question yet. You might want to slow it down juuuuust a smidge.

As Rosalie gets in the car and stretches to unlock the door for me, I glance over the roof at the front porch where James is standing and staring at me with a kind and thoughtful look on his face and sincerity in his eyes. I give him a final wave and he returns the gesture.

"Well, he was very sweet and VERY cute, too."

And here we go.

"Yes, Rose, he was very sweet and very cute, too. Back off, please."

"Belllllaaaaaa! Give it a try! You have to put yourself out there sometime, you know!"

"Rose, please. I have so much on my mind. Just let me get through the memorial and the auctions and then you can start singing 'Summer lovin' from "Grease", I seriously don't have the time."

I don't want to admit it out loud, but James is cute. Handsome, really. He's taller than I am, not a giant but a little over six feet tall, I'm guessing. I also noticed he has fantastic-looking arms. Well-toned probably from all of the catering trays he has to carry and the constant slicing of meats and veggies.

Yeah Bella, cause slicing meats and vegetables with a knife gives you a great workout…God, I'm such a spaz.

Yes, he's attractive and my stomach starts to get a little twisty when I think of him in that way. But who am I kidding? I haven't been with anyone in over three years and I don't even remember who I was with or even what I did prior to then. I'm probably a virgin for all I know. I wonder if they have a test for that. A virginity test? I should ask Alice when she comes down next week. Even if I'm not a virgin, I'm almost certain that I have some cobwebs down there. It's like the land that time forgot. Who would have given me the time of day back then? Me and my scarred knobby knees and perpetual tendency to fall down on dry land simply by trying to walk from here to there. Ugh. I don't know. I hate not knowing. I feel so damn helpless without my memory of the years before the accident.

"Bella? Earth to Bella! Are you still with me?" Rose is snapping her fingers in front of my face.

I bat them away with a smirk. "Yes, I hear you. Sorry I zoned out there for a minute."

"No biggie. So listen, you should totally ask James out!"

"What? No. Are you crazy? I can't do that!" Can I?

Rose blows out an exasperated breath. "Yes, Bella, you can do this. You need to do this. What's the harm? You call him up. You ask him out for coffee or lunch one day. I really think you should do it. He was clearly flirting with you. It's time to take a leap from the nest, honey."

I shake my head and sigh as I look out the window at all the shops along Long Beach Boulevard. With the arrival of this past weekend, the summer season is officially off and running. There are families everywhere walking up and down the main drag. Dads carrying coolers and beach umbrellas. Moms with beach bags holding the hands of their little ones who are covered in sand from head to toe and looking like they just had the time of their life on the beach that day.

I want that. I want a chance at that. I deserve it, don't I?

I sigh once more and purse my lips knowing what I have to do to kick-start my life into high gear.

"Okay, Rose. You win. I'm calling James for a date when I get home."