Chapter Twenty-Four

 Please note that anything you read in italics indicates Bella reminiscing about past events. Her journal entries are in bold and italicized.

 

~Confessions of the Heart~

EPOV

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" I demand quietly, gritting my teeth as I address Jack, his hand still on my shoulder.

He responds in kind, a smarmy look in his eyes. "Not in the least, son. Now why don't you go accept the congratulations from our guests?"

I yank my arm away from him, not caring how it looks to anyone standing around us. Fuck this, I'm outta here. The damage is done, now. All I care about is explaining shit to my family and catching up to Bella.

"Edward?" I hear Tori call out to me, meekly.

"Not now, Tori. I'll deal with you later," I sneer and push through the crowd, following my parents and brother who are walking around the side of the house.

I catch up to them in the driveway by the catering van. James is visibly fuming, my parents looking like they're trying to calm him down while Charlotte is rubbing his back.

"J!" I call out.

He looks up to catch my eyes and cocks his head, palms up in the air.

"What the hell, E? Was that a damn joke back there?"

I shake my head and start spewing venom.

"It was a fucking lie, every word of it. I had no idea Jack was gonna say or do that. I didn't know that he bought those places, I don't even care. I'm not going. All of that back there was a circus act. It's not true, not a word of it. This whole day is a charade; you've got to believe me."

"If you're telling me it's a lie, I believe you, but what the hell was Tori thinking? What possessed the Braswells to buy all that property? Are they just hoping that you'll drop everything and leave for L.A.?"

I shrug, still infuriated. "Your guess is as good as mine. But it doesn't mean a thing. I'm here, I'm staying in Jersey…and I broke up with Tori on Tuesday! We aren't together! Their whole family is in fucking denial, apparently!"

"Well, I'm going back there and giving them a piece of my mind! NOBODY has the right to bully my son, my SONS; trying to overturn every dream my boys have ever worked for!" My mom starts to stomp back toward the party but my Dad pulls her arm back.

"Esme, don't do it. Creating a huge public scene right now isn't going to make anything any better. The boys have a reputation to uphold in the community. They're known to be fun, down-to-earth guys with cool heads and a welcoming spirit. Flipping out like mental cases will only cause problems for them and for their businesses in the future. We don't want to feel any after-effects of this catastrophe. Let Edward deal with this on his own. If you want to talk to Jack and Irina after Edward makes things clear to them, that's fine. But for now, let's just go. We have plenty of food and drinks at our house. Go find our sisters and their husbands, tell them we're leaving and let's just disappear. The few friends that we did invite today have already come and gone. We don't have to worry about keeping up appearances. I'm just as pissed as you are, let's just go home and be thankful that we won't have to deal with this goddamn crazy family in the future!"

Leave it to my Dad to bring in a dose of comic relief when tempers are at an all-time high.

I turn to James and Charlotte. "Listen, I'm gonna talk to Eric, Dave and Meredith. They can take care of the rest of the party. The food's already been served. The desserts are already out for the taking. It was just a matter of pouring drinks and food service break-down for the rest of the evening. Why don't you two take off? Go somewhere so that you don't have to be around these fake-ass people anymore. Enjoy the rest of your Saturday, okay?"

James nods and pulls me in for a hug. "Sorry I was pissed when you walked up. Deep down I knew the truth; I was just so caught off guard."

"Don't apologize. I'm sorry you got wrapped up in it. I'm not going anywhere. Partners, right?"

"Partners," he repeats and gives me a fist bump and a smile.

I manage to return the smile and try to make light of the situation. "Hey Char, do what you normally do to make him feel better, wouldja?"

"I'm ten steps ahead of you, E," she winks back at me. And I watch them climb into Charlotte's car and drive away.

"You sure you're gonna be okay, honey?" My mom brings me back from the light-hearted moment.

"I hope so, Mom. Right now, I need to go find Bella."

I watch both my parents do a double-take, but my Mom speaks up first. "Bella? Your brother's ex-girlfriend, your new waitress, Bella?"

I see my Dad roll his eyes and take Mom's hand, "Come on Ezz, I'm sure we'll get the details soon," he clears his throat, knowingly.

I nod. "Yeah, you will. Just hope for my sake it isn't too late, okay?"

He slaps me on the shoulder as my Mom leans in for a hug.

"Call me tomorrow, okay? I'm so sorry, Edward. What a day this has been for you."

"I know, Mom. Just try and enjoy your evening with the family."

After watching my parents pull off, I find Jasper, Emmett, and the girls. They're confused by Jack's announcement, but understand once I explain the real story.

In my desperate anguish and fear of the damage that Tori and Jack's lies have done, I blurt out that Bella and I had gotten closer and wanted to start dating. I tell them how I'd felt about her all those years ago and that my only goal at this point is to get to her and make her understand the truth.

My heart belongs to Bella. I think it always has.

Even as a skinny sixteen year old kid just about to turn seventeen, I knew I was falling hard for that brown-haired beauty who made me laugh one minute and drove me insane with frustration and anger the next.

I don't go into the major details of our history with all of them. Ultimately, Jasper can fill in the blanks if he chooses to…and at this point, I don't mind. I just enlist their help so that if they hear from Bella, they'll contact me.

"Go find our girl," Rose says, sincerely.

I don't wait around for anything else. Bella took off more than twenty minutes ago, I've gotta find her.

I can't lose her again.

~~~~~L~A~S~T~C~A~L~L~~~~~

BPOV

I find myself wandering aimlessly down the crowded boardwalk of Ocean City.



Ocean City Boardwalk, OCNJ

In and out of stores.

Watching couples kiss and laugh and have fun, celebrating the holiday weekend…wishing they were us.

Edward and I.

I thought it was in my grasp. How naïve I've been.

I clutch at my stomach after it lets out a low rumble. I haven't eaten anything since the burger I grabbed at the party this afternoon. I've long since vomited that up, though.

I've been walking for hours, reminiscing about all the good and wonderful things that happened in the last two days between Edward and me, leading up to the disaster at the party a few hours ago.

On Thursday morning, my eyes fluttered open as I took in the bright morning sun that was streaming in through my bedroom windows and balcony door.

Waking up in Edward's arms was like a dream come true. Curled comfortably into his side, my head rested on the dip just under his shoulder, his right arm wrapped around my back and my right leg thrown over his. For having just figured out that we were officially interested in dating in the wee hours of Thursday morning, we were acting very familiar…but I wasn't complaining.

When he told me he'd broken up with Tori, my heart started racing and my head felt dizzy from excitement. Then, when he confessed that he'd been thinking about me constantly since I arrived on LBI and that he wanted to date me and spend time with me, my smile was unstoppable.

I'd been infiltrating his every thought, just as much as he's been monopolizing mine. That convinced me we were on the right path.

I recall thinking about telling James what was going on, and that I hoped he wouldn't be hurt. I also thought Rose might be a bit of an obstacle because she's so protective of me and hasn't been Edward's biggest fan to date…but, if both James and Rose were able to acknowledge our history and see just how much Edward and I felt this pull toward each other, maybe they'd also recognize that we just needed to take the road less traveled to find our way back, and ultimately, be understanding of that.

And even though I was momentarily caught up worrying about those necessary upcoming conversations, I remember putting them on the back burner almost instantly.

I just wanted to bask in the crazy, exciting, butterfly-filled feelings coursing through me because I was there in Edward's safe, strong arms after our passionate encounters in the pool and by the fire.

I permit myself a half-smile, remembering that I stealthily unpeeled myself from Edward's warm embrace when the reality of morning/partial hangover breath hit me.

After brushing my teeth, I shot downstairs to start the coffee. It was close to ten, and thankfully Edward and I didn't have to be in to work until four that day. I didn't want to assume he had the time available, but I hoped that he might want to spend the day with me until the last possible moment.

I headed back up to my bedroom with two cups of coffee. I knew Edward liked his black, two sugars. However, I always need mine to taste like a creamy coffee-flavored lollipop. More milk than coffee and five sugars.

I walked over to my balcony, opened the French doors and stepped through the flowing sheer curtains that instantly began dancing in the morning sea breeze.

Stepping outside and placing our steaming mugs on the little bistro table, I leaned over the railing to find comfort in breathing in the salty air.

A new day. It was a new day in so many ways.

I don't know how I was so foolishly convinced that things were on the right track all of a sudden, but with the beginnings of the new little nugget of a relationship with Edward at my fingertips, I felt like I was armed for battle.

I know now I wasn't even remotely prepared.

It was during those musings that morning that I suddenly felt his lithe fingers grasp at my hips, rubbing me gently up and down.

"Morning." He spoke, still a bit groggy.

I smiled over my shoulder and caught his eyes, "Hi." I looked down and away, a bit shy for a moment, "Sorry if I woke you. I just love coming out here first thing in the morning. So peaceful." I said, gazing back out at the tide.

"It's okay. It was missing the feel of you in my arms that actually woke me. That, and the smell of coffee brewing," he added with his signature crooked smile.

"Oh! Here." I grabbed the mug and passed it to him, "Black, two sugars, right?"

His eyes crinkled and danced in the sunlight, "Yeah. Thank you."

"My pleasure. Did you sleep okay?"

"I did. Even better than I did a few nights ago when I was in the other bedroom. I much prefer being your roommate rather than just an overnight guest in the spare room." He spoke softly as he pulled me into a hug.

I giggled at his silliness, and at the feeling of his warm breath tickling my neck. "Well, if you continue to play your cards right, I think I can pretty much guarantee that when you're here, the spare bedrooms will remain empty."

"Think so?"

I pulled back and smiled for him. "Know so."

"Hmmm, I will be playing those cards very carefully, then." And that's when he leaned in for a scorching kiss.

He pulled the coffee mug from my hand and it clattered down onto the table.

Heavy breathing, gentle moaning, lips tugging and tongues dancing. His hands were sweetly cupping and rubbing my face and tangling into my hair, while mine roamed all over his solid chest and shoulders. We got lost in each other for a few moments and then he pulled back, much to my chagrin.

"I don't want to pressure you into anything, Bella." He softly soothed, his forehead pressed against mine.

I retreated and looked up at his gorgeous face, taking in his Crayola mish-mash hair gleaming in the sunlight and his beach-glass eyes looking deeply into mine.

"I don't feel pressured, but taking my time with you and enjoying you, enjoying…us…sounds like just what the doctor ordered."

His crooked smile answered me, "In that case, may I see you Saturday night after the barbeque, Ms. King? I'd like to spend some more time alone with you. Watch a late movie while we're curled up together on your sofa, perhaps?"

"I'd love it. You've got yourself a date, Mr. Cullen."

It had been a perfect morning, our first morning together. The first of many, I'd hoped.

A group of young teenagers comes barreling down the street making noise, knocking me out of my reverie, as I turn down 9th Street toward the restaurant that James told me about a while ago, The Chatterbox.

I decide to go inside and get a glass of ginger ale to try and settle my stomach.

Sitting at the booth, my mind thinks back to what I found inside the lock box late last night.

There were several movie stubs, a half-dozen pictures of Edward and me, a withered, dried-out rose (unfortunately too old to detect its original color), a gallon-size zip-lock bag filled with dried rose petals, two CDs, and a red leather-bound journal.

I'd glanced through the movie stubs: "Finding Nemo", "The Hulk", "The Italian Job" and "Legally Blonde 2".

I laughed to myself after seeing the faded dates on the tickets. Every date stamp was between Memorial Day and the Fourth of July. I wondered if these were movies that I saw with Edward. It was certainly an eclectic collection! If I were a betting girl, I'd say he chose two, and I chose two.

It made me smile, and inexplicably sad all at once.

I bet we had so much fun together. As quickly as we found each other, we were ripped apart.

The dried rose and petals I saved made me wonder and hope if they were gifts from Edward from our short time together.

I couldn't help but notice that the dried petals had looked much more worn than the intact long-stemmed rose.

Maybe the single rose wasn't as old as the loose petals. Could the single rose have been given to me at a later date?

Next, I moved to examine the CDs. The first had a printed sticker with a label that simply said, "For You". The second CD was completely unmarked.

My interest had definitely piqued with their discovery last night, and I remember that I listened intently to the "For You" CD for clues.

The first track was "If You're Not the One". A sweet song, the guy singing clearly expressing that he'd fallen for the object of his affection.

The next song was "Miss Independent" by Kelly Clarkson. It was very fitting for those days, I suppose. Bratty little Isabella aka Miss Independent?

It had been hard to tell from those first few songs whether it was a CD that Edward made for me. Or one I had made for Edward and possibly kept a copy for myself.

Knowing I wasn't going to get any clear answers about the creator of the CD at that late hour, I couldn't hold back any longer and picked up the red journal with reverence, hoping…praying it held some answers like the Ark of the Covenant.

 

I pull back the cover and re-read the title page.

Journal of Isabella Swan

Started: May 20, 2003

If you're not me, go away!

(Yes, I mean you, MOM!)

I chuckle at my young ire. Clearly my mother had boundary issues back then.

I turn the page and find my first entry.

May 20, 2003

I've started my journal today, just like Mrs. Cope told us to. All the kids got journals at the graduation dance as a gift from the staff. Girls got red, boys got blue. School colors, I suppose.

I don't really know what to write about. I don't have any feelings I need to sort out. Mrs. Cope, our guidance counselor, said high school is going to be a crazy, exciting and scary journey for us. And it's important that we always take some time for ourselves to reflect.

Here I am, reflecting.

Oh, well. Maybe the mood will strike me in the future.

Nothing exciting to report, except that Daddy told me today that we're going to Ocean City this summer. We usually go to Loveladies to visit Aunt Didi, but she's in Europe traveling for the next few months, so instead of taking over her house while she's gone, we're just going to OC.

I'm looking forward to it. Should be fun. I remember the time I went with Court and her family last summer. The boardwalk is pretty cool. They have skee ball at the arcade and great rides at Wonderland. Oh! And some hot life guards, how did I forget the most important part? Haha.

Okay. I'm done here. See you soon. xo

I read through a couple more entries and get to the end of May, Memorial Day Weekend, specifically.

May 25, 2003

Okay, here it is. I think I'm falling in love.

That may be a little ridiculous considering I just met the guy, but holy smokes, he is so damn hot. I'm here down in Ocean City, my mother ignoring me as usual, and this gorgeous guy walks into the cabana Daddy rented for us.

Tells me he's our cabana boy, hello?

So I bat my eyelashes, flirt my butt off and, by the end of the day, I ask him if he wants to go out with me to walk the boards that night!

A date! Ahhh!

We had a fantastic time, he was so much fun.

He bought us caramel popcorn at Johnson's. He even won me a humongous teddy bear using his skee ball tickets.

And the kisses? Oh, my gosh…the kisses are incredible.

My first real kiss, except for that one time I played "One minute in the closet" at Sarah Jackson's thirteenth birthday party. Randy Gordon has nothing on Edward.

That's his name, Edward Cullen.

Like I said, I think I'm falling in love already. He asked me to be his official girlfriend tonight. Then we made out like mad under the boardwalk…just like the song Dad likes!

This is turning out to be the best summer EVER. And I've only been here three days! xo

I smile at my words and quickly flip through to where the journal ends. It's practically filled to the last page with writing, but I don't want to read what's written. I just check the date. December 23, 2007.

The night before I got married.

It suddenly dawns on me what might've happened. I wrote in it, locked it up…and then it got buried in the mess that my life became twenty-four hours later and for the next three and a half years.

I recall that "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down was one of the songs that played later on the CD. I continued to waffle back and forth over who created the mix. There were mostly love songs, some on the happy side, some on the angsty side.

I'm stumped, though. The creator could've been me or Edward.

Huh. It occurs to me that it might've even been Alec.

I mean, I married the guy. Maybe he did love me, even though he was a cheating bastard in our dating relationship. Maybe I loved him because I was a dumb girl who refused to accept the truth. Or maybe I didn't care about him at all and just ignored his indiscretions, because I knew the financial jackpot I was about to hit once the ink dried on my marriage license.

God, that makes me sick to my stomach. Sicker, even.

I turn back toward the beginning of the journal where I left off and read through every page, where I sound like a young girl truly in love.

Movie nights cuddling on the couch in the cabana. Sharing ice cream cones from Kohr Brothers on the boardwalk. Picking out the tackiest Christmas decorations imaginable in the heat of June at Mia's Christmas Gallery.

And the physical intimacy we shared? From what I've gathered in my writings, it didn't go much further than heavy make-out sessions and a few gropes over and (even once) under our clothes.

Edward knew that, at almost fifteen years old, I was totally inexperienced, and it sounded like he was too. We were a good match.

My heart skips a beat when I reach the entry for Edward's 17th birthday. I know it's his special day because there are hearts doodled ALL over the place, with "My Baby's Birthday" written in thick, red marker in the top margin.

I roll my eyes and laugh at my young self and her poor, soon-to-be-broken heart.

June 20, 2003

It was E's birthday today.

We've had the best, best day possible. Through his entire shift, I invented situations which required Edward's attention to me in our cabana.

"Edward, I need more towels."

"Can you bring me some ice, Edward?"

"Uhh, Edward, the ceiling fan won't work."

Every time I called for him, he would flash his crooked half-smile and walk my way. We were so sneaky in our charade. Once I got him in the cabana, we'd sneak kisses and hugs. Like I said, BEST day!

Anyway, I made him special birthday brownies in our penthouse today. My mom has been harping on me to leave him alone, but I'm not listening. She doesn't care that I'm happy. She's barely here as it is. Always running off to the club to spend time with her friends, or weekends in New York. Poor Daddy works like crazy to keep her happy.

If it weren't for Anna, I'd be alone practically every day. Anna thinks Edward is sweet. That's all I need to know. Who cares if she's our housekeeper? She's basically raised me for the last few years. Hopefully she's not going anywhere till I'm 18 and can be on my own. I'll always come back home for my Dad, but my mom can take a hike. I'll be happy to get out from under her perfectly manicured thumb.

Anyway, back to my honey. He loved the brownies. I used my allowance to buy him dinner at his favorite restaurant, La Spiaggia. He loves Italian food and told me he wants to run his own restaurant someday. I know he'd be perfect at it. He's such a people pleaser.

Some of the guys who work the other cabanas hung out with us tonight after dinner. So did Courtney and Kim. We went for a night swim, took goofy pictures and played card games. I thought my side would split from laughing so much. It was tons of fun.

I felt like E was a little distant at the end of the night, but he said it was nothing; just tired from a fun day of birthday stuff.

Anyway, time for me to hit the hay. Today was the best day of the year so far. The next best day will be in a few days when I can say "Happy one month Anniversary" to Edward.

This has seriously been the best month of my life. I hope he feels the same way. xo

Once I get to the end of the birthday entry, I close the journal and pay for my soda. It's after nine and it's going to take me at least an hour, if not more, to get back up to LBI in all this traffic.

I just need to collapse in my bed and end this miserable day.

As I'm driving down the road, I see the beautiful fireworks going off in the distance.

Call me sappy, but I was hoping to kiss Edward under the brilliant display tonight.

And even though I thought I was all cried out from earlier today, another tear slides down my cheek.

 

~~~~~L~A~S~T~C~A~L~L~~~~~

EPOV

It's been hours, and I've still heard nothing.

Nothing from our friends.

Nothing from Bella.

It's ten o'clock. I've looked all over this damn island for her. From the Barnegat Lighthouse all the way down to the Surflite Theater in Beach Haven. I've been in and out of restaurants and bars. I've checked the movie theaters. I've meandered in and out of sundries shops and ice cream parlors. I've walked on random strips of beach. I've literally been everywhere.

I don't know where else to look.

The muffled, booming sounds of the fireworks continue to go off in the distance.

At 10:03 my phone rings…it's Jasper.

"Hey."

"Hi. Listen, from the tone of your voice I'm assuming you haven't heard from her, and we haven't either. But we were just talking things through and thought: Ocean City. What if she drove to Ocean City? I know you've searched all over LBI for her. Maybe she went down there to walk on the boardwalk? Visit the Flanders? I don't know. We're just trying to come up with anything that's in the realm of possibility for you, man. You've got a team of people in your corner, here."

"Thanks, Jazz. Ocean City crossed my mind, but I wasn't finished exhausting this island yet. She's gotta come home at some point, right? I'm sitting here on her front porch hoping her headlights will turn into the driveway. Pitiful, huh?"

"Nah, man. Not pitiful. Persistent maybe, but not pitiful. It'll work out. She's a smart girl, she's just been really hurt by so much of late. This might have put her right over the edge. In her heart, she knows you didn't lie."

"I hope so."

"Hang in there, okay? And gimme a buzz if you hear anything."

"Yeah, will do. Thanks."

I let my head fall back against her front door.

I can't believe how this day went to such shit.

I woke up this morning feeling like a lovesick fool, just itching to get Bella into my arms again. And here I am now, just praying she'll hear me out long enough to not call the cops on my perceived lying, cheating ass.

Speaking of ass, mine is killing me from sitting on these stone steps for the last hour. Maybe I'll go out back and find a lounger or one of her deck chairs and continue my vigil.

I'm not sure how much time passed after I went behind the house to Bella's deck to continue waiting, but with my head in my hands, bent over with my elbows on my knees, I'm startled when the light in the kitchen suddenly comes on.

I lift my head to see Bella standing in the doorway of her glass sliders.

She looks about as pained as I feel.

Even in the sorrow of her eyes and demeanor, there's a fierceness she projects.

I quickly stand up, while she unlocks the door and slides it open. The screen remains between us.

She speaks first, sounding quiet and wounded.

"What are you doing here?"

What am I doing here?

"I— I'm waiting for you. I've been waiting for you, searching for you for," I glance down at my watch, "over five hours. I needed to get to you."

"Shouldn't you be with your fiancée? From the sounds of it, you have a lot of details to sort through before you get out to California."

I step toward the door and she flinches. Her words, coupled with her retreating movement, are like a vice constricting around my heart.

"Bella, no. There are no plans to work through. What Jack said and did today…they were lies, all lies. I promise you."

"Edward, please. I saw, we all saw the paperwork that Mr. Braswell was waving around this afternoon. You're telling me he's making it up? That those buildings haven't all been purchased and are waiting for you and Tori to move in and get to work?"

I sigh, exhausted, but not too tired to fight for Bella…for us. To fight until she believes the truth. I'll stay as long as I need to… talking till I'm blue in the face …but this girl's gonna hear what I have to say.

"Bella, how can you think I'd lie to you like that? Yes, I'm not going to deny that Jack has more money than the Pope has blessings, so I'm sure he really did buy all those properties he was flaunting. What I want to tell you is that it doesn't matter. It wasn't discussed with me; he and Irina and Tori did all that shit behind my back…and kept going with the charade of a barbeque when, to them, it was still an engagement party.

"I haven't gotten to the bottom of who knew what and for how long. Tori clearly lied to her parents, or maybe she didn't and they were just so pissed, that they made her lie to me…one way or another, today's party was an engagement party for all intents and purposes, at least in their eyes. It's my fault that I didn't put my foot down and cancel the whole thing.

"I thought that by being a decent person and agreeing to the holiday party, it would make it a little easier for everyone to remain amicable, for the Braswells to keep up appearances for a few more days, just so they weren't embarrassed. Instead, it blew up in my face and you were hurt. My parents were hurt. My brother…ugh. What a fucking disaster." I lift my head to the sky in frustration and rub the back of my neck furiously.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm sorry for what you saw and heard from Jack. My heart isn't with Tori…it's with you. Please. You have to believe me."

Bella's been looking down this whole time, hopefully listening and believing my words, but certainly not willing to look me in the eye to truly see my remorse and sincerity.

Still looking at the floor, she croaks out, "It wasn't just Mr. Braswell's announcement, Edward. I heard things…right before then. I was in the house and I overheard Tori and some friends of hers going on and on about how you wanted to get out of here, how you hate that James is a slacker…"

"WHAT!" I scream out, interrupting her and making her jump. "I've never said that about my brother! He works just as hard as I do, if not more! Who was saying this? Tori?"

She nods and continues. "She said you take pity on people and only keep them on your staff because you feel sorry for them. And then she…" I see her swallow hard and wipe her nose with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, "she said you had sex last night. Lots of it. She was bragging that you're so hot for her and you can't get enough."

I feel the bile rising in my throat. I haven't eaten or drunk anything for hours, but I'm about to hurl anything that's in my system. I step forward to open the screen door. Bella doesn't stop me. Instead, she just moves back and marches into her great room expecting me to follow.

Tori. What a fucking lying bitch. I can't believe she said this…did this. I— I can't even believe this is the same girl I was going to marry.

"Do you know what that was like for me to hear, Edward? To hear that you had her bent over a couch and later you were fucking her in the shower? The visuals that prompted in my head? I felt like someone reached in, grabbed my heart and tossed it under a lawnmower. 'Cause, you know, it dawned on me. I didn't hear from you at all last night. Not one response to any of the texts I sent to you after I got the lock box open."

Is she serious with this?

"Why didn't you respond to any of my messages? I mean, is there any truth to what Tori was bragging about? You had me half naked on my living room floor two nights ago; were you fucking your fiancée last night as well?"

My eyes go wide with shock and fury. I can't believe these accusations! What the FUCK? I've tried to stay in control today, but the other shoe has finally dropped.

"Is…is that really what you're thinking, Bella? I was at work until almost three in the morning last night! You KNOW I turn my phone off when it gets busy at the bar! All the texts you sent to me were waiting for me when I got up this morning! Once I closed last night, I drove the couple of blocks over to Four Seas and collapsed there, knowing I had to get stuff ready for the party! So, to answer your question, no! I wasn't fucking my fiancée last night!"

I'm shouting like a complete lunatic. "I don't have a fiancée. I broke up with her on Tuesday! What I do have, what I thought I had or was hoping I could have was the beginning stages of a relationship with YOU! And it's so ludicrous, because with you, it's not like a first or second date. I know you. I've known you for years. I've been thinking about you for years! It's more like a thirtieth date or something. We have history. It may not be all good and you may not remember it all, but we have history and that's what I'm remembering. What I'm clinging to. What keeps me awake at night and what has me dreaming of you when I do manage to sleep."

"You're in my every thought, every goddamn day! Having you walk back into my life six weeks ago was the best thing that ever happened to me! You've got me head over heels, stupid in love. I'm fucking falling in love with you all over again, Bella! There is nobody I want to be with on this planet more than you!"

I look up from my tirade and see more tears streaming down Bella's face. God only knows if they're tears of sorrow or joy at this point.

I'm so tired of all this insanity. I just want to be happy. I want things to go smoothly…no bumps in the road.

"Do you understand what I'm saying here, Bella? I'm in love with you. Too soon to say this? Probably. I don't fucking care anymore. You're here, you're back in my life and I'm not walking away from you again without a fucking fight! You need to know that I've never gotten over you! I don't ever want to have to…I just…"

I cross the floor in three quick steps and slam my lips against Bella's. She moans in response and wraps her arms around my neck. I pull back for just a minute to make sure we're on the same page.

"Bella. This is it. You're it. I'm here and I'm staying until you tell me to leave you alone. Got it?"

She nods her head rapidly, "Yes, yes I believe you," she squeaks out and lunges her lips forward to collide with mine.

I lift her up and she wraps her legs around my waist as I stumble back onto her chaise lounge sofa.

I suck and bite and breathe heavily as she returns my every move.

I reach down to her waist and yank her sweatshirt over her sundress and toss it onto the floor.

I push her head to the side and attack her neck with hungry kisses. Sucking, licking the sensitive skin riddled with goose-bumps from our intimacy.

Bella starts undoing my buttons but can't steady her fingers enough to manipulate the small, plastic obstacles. I take the initiative and rip my shirt open and she finishes the task by dragging it the rest of the way down my arms, until my hands are free to toss it aside.

We continue kissing each other urgently. We can't get enough. It's clear to me that we both know what we want and nobody is slowing down.

I stand up, still holding on to her, and flip her down onto her back. I go back to smothering her with my desire.

She has tiny buttons that go from the top of her dress, all the way to the bottom. God knows I don't have the patience to tediously undo each one. We'll be here forever and I just can't wait that long.

"Can we get this over your head?" I pant, licking at her collar bone as she groans in response.

She vehemently nods and I pull back to stand, pulling her up with me.

She stands before me, panting, blushing…appearing overwhelmed with need.

Trust me, baby, I know the feeling.

I reach down and roughly drag her dress up and over her body. She reaches up with her long, delicate arms and fingers dancing in the air as I finish my task.

She's wearing a strapless black bra, which I quickly add to the mounting pile of clothes on the floor.

Bella grabs at the button and zipper of my khakis and tugs them down toward my thighs. Gravity does the rest.

My cock is straining against my boxer briefs. Her hand moves down through my smattering of chest hair, leading toward the elastic waistband constraining my erection.

I turn her back toward the chair and lay her down.

The desire in her eyes matches exactly how I'm feeling. I reach for her panties and gently slide them from her hips.

If she's at all embarrassed, she doesn't show me. Instead, I watch her inhale deeply as I lower myself to my knees at the feet of the lounge chair and start kissing my way up her delectable body.

I start at her inner ankle, up to her knee, her thighs, my hands trailing behind on the path my wet kisses have left in their wake. I move up toward her hips, licking and suckling at a freckle that sits on top of her right hip bone. I move across her body, my tongue dipping into her belly button. I move my face just south so that I can pay homage to her incredible pussy. I place a soft kiss on the small patch of hair as Bella shudders in response.

I continue to kiss my way up her body and stop to pay particular attention to her perfect breasts. I lick and swirl and twirl my tongue around one nipple while my other hand massages and plucks at the other nipple.

"Edward," I hear her call out softly, almost breathless.

I pause my kisses and look up at my beauty laid out before me. "Yes, pretty girl?"

"Umm, it may not be the right moment to share this, but before we go any further, I guess you need to know that umm…I'm pretty sure I'm still a-uhhh…virgin. I mean, I can't be sure…I just... I just thought you'd want to know. So y'know… you might need to go kinda slow…"

She trails off, embarrassed, but I hold her gaze. I stand back up and remove my boxers so that I'm naked before her. I crawl back over her body, nudging her knees open for me so that I can settle in between.

I start with a chaste kiss on her lips and speak in a low voice. "Whether or not this is your first time, it wouldn't change the fact that I want to make love to you right now. I don't want to wait another minute. I thought waiting would be the right thing to do, and I almost lost you again tonight. I don't want to wait. But, after hearing what you said, I want to tell you that…no, you're not."

Her eyes crinkle in confusion and surprise.

"I'm not? But how do you…"

"Because I was there with you the night you…unbecame one."

"You mean, you…you were my…first?"

I nod slowly and dip for another kiss, my gaze locked on her glistening brown eyes. "Yeah, I was. I have no idea what, if anything, happened after that, but I can tell you that you and I were together right before I left Ocean City, and you were just as beautiful to me that night as you are right now."

A tear escapes down the side of Bella's temple. "It was you," she whispers, her voice thick with emotion.

"It was me." I reply and kiss her lovingly, trying to convey just how much our time together then meant to me…and still does.

"There's been no one since the accident," she confirms.

A rush of excitement spreads through me, hoping that maybe she's only ever been with me. That even despite our pain so many years ago, she only ever wanted me in this way.

I reach down between her legs and feel the slick arousal that coats her. My hand moves to the floor and I grab the foil packet I have stashed in my wallet. I nimbly sheath myself, and move back to where I was moments earlier…falling deeper into bliss with this girl who's captured my heart.

I position myself at her entrance, my heartbeat so quick, I feel like I'm running a marathon.

I kiss her again, licking, teasing, savoring as I slowly push into her warmth.

"Ahhh," she softly cries out, breathless and beautiful.

My eyes are tightly shut. I'm trying to take my time, but my body is so eager, I don't know if I can control myself.

When our hips are fully joined, I lift myself up on my forearms, next to her gorgeous face. I need to see Bella and capture this picture in my mind.

This moment…where we've come together again.

It's paradise.

"Edward…," she breathes.

"You okay? Am…am I hurting you?"

"No…I just…" She trails off and reaches up to kiss me again; I willingly oblige.

I begin to move, thrusting slowly at first, but then I pick up speed as our kisses intensify and our tongues pump in and out of each other's mouth.

Her legs wrap around my waist and she moans, as my cock reaches a new, more sensitive angle.

The friction we're creating is driving me wild.

Bella licks and bites at my jaw and neck. Her warm tongue feels fucking fantastic and drives my hips to swivel and grind and push her to the edge where I'm headed and I pray she can follow.

She digs her heels in my ass, causing me to whimper and drop my head to her shoulder.

"Bella…nnnngh."

I recapture her lips again, sucking and nipping, trying to draw pleasure out of every movement we make.

"Haaaa, ahhh," she's crying softly in my ear as I feel her walls tighten around my cock…squeezing, spasming as she free-falls into a powerful orgasm.

I thrust one, two, three more times and feel myself constricting…and then I'm falling with her.

I continue to pump slowly, matching erotic, open-mouthed tongue kisses in synch with the movement of my pelvis.

My forehead, neck and shoulders feel damp with sweat. I pull my face away from Bella's long enough to see a similar sheen of moisture glazing her skin.

Bella picks up her head, threading her fingers along my scalp and cradles my face in her hands.

Her thumbnail gently scrapes across my lower lip and onto my cheek and jaw as she exhales deeply.

"That was amazing…felt amazing. I mean…for my first time and all…even though it wasn't my real first…I mean, you get what I'm saying, right?" She's so adorably embarrassed right now. My only response is a sincere smile and a kiss to the tip of her nose.

She continues, her eyes welling up with more tears. "I'm so sorry I doubted you today. My mind's been playing tricks on me all day long. And knowing how awful a person I used to be, as a first instinct, it was just easier to believe you were getting back at me than to think logically through the situation and know you wouldn't do that to me…to James."

I answer her pleas with a searing kiss that I don't break for at least ten seconds.

"You don't have to apologize. You've been through a tragedy. And you keep discovering things that only continue to hurt you. I'm not gonna hurt you, Bella. I promise. I'm here now…and I'm not going anywhere. Do you trust me?"

She nods her head, a small smile playing at her lips. "I do. I trust you. We're in this together."

I respond with my most sincere smile, looking deeply into her eyes. "Together."

Chapter Twenty-Three

~The Rollercoaster~

EPOV

I feel like I'm on crisis alert, like when a person gets conked on the head and he or she isn't supposed to fall asleep for a few hours in case of a concussion. Or when they do fall asleep, you need to wake them every hour or so to make sure they're still breathing.

I've been lying here with Bella all night…and it's been a really long night, considering I rescued her from a drunken stupor around 8:30 p.m. It's been several hours since we got home and I tucked her in bed to try and sleep off the damage.

I've listened to her whimper and sob and mumble in her restless state. I could only make out a few words here or there. I heard her say "sorry" several times, but I didn't know why or whom she was talking to in her dreams. I heard her say "unfair" at one point and, a few minutes ago, I clearly heard her mutter, "I wish it was me".

I'm not even going to decipher what it all means. I just think it's best that I lie still next to her, soothe her with my voice when she sounds like she's getting worked up, and be here for her when she wakes in the morning.

And to make things nice and difficult for me, she keeps scooting backwards, pushing her delicious ass directly up against my crotch, which is desperately trying to behave.

My body is at war with my head right now.

I'm single. I have nothing to feel guilty about. If something were to happen with Bella and me at some point in the future, hell yeah… I'd welcome it with open arms.

"Nnnnngh," I groan, squeezing my eyes shut and pulling back a little bit more.

Contact with said luscious ass again. This is torture. But I'm really trying to be good.

Be a friend. Be a—

"Edward?" I freeze when I hear Bella whisper, groggily, as she moves her hand to her left hip and places it on top of mine.

"Yeah, it's me. You okay?"

"I— I don't know. I think so. I'm kinda thirsty though, my mouth feels so dry."

"I'll go get you a bottle of water. Do you feel like you're gonna be sick?"

"Umm, no. I think I'm okay right now. I just feel like I've been sleeping for days. What time is it?"

"It's just after one in the morning. You've been asleep for over four hours."

"Really? God. Feels like longer."

She stays silent for several seconds, so I take that opportunity to roll out of bed and go downstairs to get her some water.

When I return, she's sitting up in bed with her small nightstand lamp dimly illuminating the room. She's got her fingers in her eyes.

"Hey. Here's your water." I hand her the bottle and shove my hands into my jeans pockets.

"Oh, thanks." She smiles and places it next to her on the table. "I had to take my contacts out. They felt like they were suctioned to my eyeballs. Sleeping with them in also won't help with the headache I'm bound to have in the morning," she chuckles, sarcastically.

I smile and huff. "D'you wanna talk about what happened?" I hedge, not really knowing how to proceed. Do I stay? Do I go? No clue what the protocol is here.

"I saw Brooke again, yesterday."

"What?"

She raises her eyebrows and nods. "Yup. Ran into her at the spa where I was with Alice and Rosalie…OH SHIT, Alice and Rose!" She frantically searches the room with her eyes, presumably seeking out her cell phone.

"Relax. I sent Jasper a text after I picked you up at the bar. He said the girls had been worried about you, but were thankful that I found you and got you home safe."

"Wow. Okay. And yeah, thank you…very much. How did you know where I was?" She asks, looking up at me, her eyes squinting in confusion.

"The owner of the bar recognized you as one of our servers and called me. He said you were in rough shape and asked if I could come pick you up. I can take you to get your car in the morning."

She nods again. "So yeah, Brooke and this other girl Leah were at the spa. Brooke apologized about Alec's death but then went on to basically accuse me of murder," she states.

"She WHAT? Murder? Please, tell me you don't think that way, Bella."

"No, I know I didn't murder Alec. But she made sure I knew that she didn't take back any of the stuff she accused me of. She said I was money-hungry. That I struck a deal with my mom, never loved Alec and only planned to marry him for the money." She takes a moment to make eye contact with me. "Is that true? I mean, do you know anything about this?"

I purse my lips and shake my head, moving back over to the bed to sit down next to her feet. "No. By the time I left that final summer, you were still just boyfriend-girlfriend. You must've gotten engaged after that."

"Aunt Didi told me that Alec proposed to me on my eighteenth birthday. And my birthday is—"

"September thirteenth," I cut in as she locks eyes with me.

"Yeah."

"And I had worked up through Labor Day Weekend…which also happened to be the day you were leaving."

She nods, keeping her eyes on her hands in her lap.

I'm still feeling torn over what to do for Bella at this point. I don't want to just assume I'll stay. I'd like to, but she might want to be alone at this point.

"Okay, it seems like you're feeling a bit better than you were when I picked you up last night. I'll go and let you get some sleep." I pause, looking at my watch, "No point in going back to the bar though, I'm sure Justin and Dave are handling closing just fine."

"I'm sorry you got pulled into more of my drama tonight and had to leave the bar."

"Hey, no apologies necessary. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to. I could have very easily called Jasper to come rescue you."

"Why didn't you?"

Oh boy, moment of truth...another one. May as well start being honest with my feelings.

"I wanted to. I wanted to see you again...and when I heard you were in trouble, all I could think about was getting to you before you got hurt."

Bella lets out an exasperated sigh and shakes her head. "It's only my feelings that are hurt. Seems I crushed many people along the way in my relentless pursuit of all things grandiose and highfalutin requiring bank accounts with as many columns as possible. It's no wonder I had no real friends. Nobody was at my wedding but my family. Nobody checked up on me while I recovered from the accident. I made my selfish bed...and now I'm lying in it...and, ironically, I'm not even tired right now," she punctuates her sadness with sarcastic levity and a shake of her head.

Suddenly, I get an idea and decide to go for it.

"Not anymore, come on." I jump off the bed and spin around, yanking the covers off her.

"What is it? Where are we going?"

"Downstairs. I know what you need."

"Oh God, please don't tell me you're mixing me a drink or concocting another Cullen recipe...I think I'd vomit."

"Nahh, I wouldn't do that to you at this hour. But...I have something that will definitely take your mind off your crappy run-in with the mean girls."

"Well, thank goodness for that."

She follows me down the stairs, through the kitchen and toward the sliding doors leading to her back deck. "We're going outside?"

I flick on the pool light and stop when I get to the deck loungers. I don't answer her; I just grab behind the shoulders of my shirt and pull it off over my head, tossing it aside.

"Wh— What are you—?"

Again I don't respond, I just dive into the deep end of the pool.

As soon as she started wallowing in her sorrow upstairs, I knew I needed to get her mind off the drama.

View of Bella's pool at night time

Nothing says "escape" like a late night swim.

After I surface in the shallow end, I swipe at my eyes with my thumb and index finger to refocus. "Come on, you know you want to. How about we do laps until your mind is clear of all the ugliness and drama you've been inundated with?"

"Uhh, we'll be swimming till October."

I laugh at her sarcasm. "No, we won't. Come on. You know you want to!" I goad her.

I watch her deliberate for a few seconds. "You know what? You're right. Just give me a minute, I have to go grab my suit." She starts to walk back toward the sliding door.

I crinkle my face in surprise. "No, you don't, what's the big deal? Just take off your dress."

"Edward, I'm not gonna strip in front of you and swim around in my underwear."

"Seriously? Bella, the bathing suits you used to parade around in could barely even be considered scraps of material. I'm sure what you've got on isn't much more revealing than those ever were. If it makes you feel better, I'll turn around so you can jump in."

She bites her bottom lip for just a second. Next thing I know, in a whirlwind that starts with a flying dress and ends in a small splash, Bella reaches my end of the pool and emerges a few feet away from me, looking sensational. Her long brown hair is slicked back perfectly down her neck, there are huge water droplets on her eyelashes and I can see the straps of a burgundy-colored satin bra. I'm trying not to stare, but I'm pretty sure she's wearing matching panties.

Of course she is.

"Okay, Michael Phelps, what've you got?" She teases. "I'm ready when you are."

I smile so wide, I can feel the ache in my cheeks. "Let's do it!"

And we kick off the wall.

Up and back, up and back. I glance over at her every so often and see her gliding through the water, barely making a splash, like she was a born swimmer. She changes strokes every few laps: freestyle, breaststroke, sidestroke, butterfly.

I have a flashback to our days at the Flanders where I'd watch her from afar doing laps early in the morning before the pool would get crowded with other guests. She always made it look effortless. I remember her telling me years ago that she took lessons as a child and wanted to join the swim team in high school. I don't know if she ever did. By the time she would've joined the team, we weren't speaking to each other.

I return my thoughts to the present, having lost count after my twentieth lap, with Bella still going strong. I stop in the deep end and swim to the side next to the ladder to catch my breath.

Bella doesn't realize I've stopped for another lap and a half.

"What's wrong? You okay?" She asks, swimming over toward the ladder where I'm treading.

"I'm fine. I got rid of just about all my problems and cleared my head, so I figured I'd take a rest." I reply with a chuckle and a sarcastic grin.

"All your problems, huh?" She smiles, "what's weighing on your mind these days?" She swims a bit closer...interested...concerned.

"No real problems, maybe a dilemma here or there. The answers will come when they're supposed to," I shrug.

She nods knowingly. "Still trying to figure out the California thing?"

I'm shocked for a second. I'd forgotten that I'd told Bella about what Tori wanted.

"Oh, uhhh, no. The California thing has been taken off the table. Permanently."

"Really? Wow. I mean, I'm happy that you get to continue all your business interests over here in Jersey. I'm sure Tori's upset, though. Has she agreed to stick to your original plan and come back here after she's done traveling?"

I shake my head, maintaining eye contact with her.

"No. It's safe to say that Tori has become a California girl. She's really happy in Cali with all her job prospects and the opportunities that have come her way. She's decided to settle out there."

Confused, she furrows her eyebrows before she begins again.

"So you're staying here and she's going back there. Wh—what does that mean for you guys as a couple?"

"It means we're not a couple anymore. We broke up on Tuesday."

Her jaw drops. "OH MY GOSH! I— I'm really sorry to hear that."

I shrug, because I'm still pretty indifferent about it. I feel a sense of emptiness, but it's nothing compared to the sting of the break up and heartache I felt years ago over Bella.

"So… your engagement party?"

"Would have been canceled, but now it's back on as more of a Fourth of July bash. Tori told her folks about us. Later that night, she called me saying her parents were upset, like, really upset, but she pacified them with the idea of still having a big holiday party for all of our family and friends coming into town. I agreed because I was the one footing the bill for all the food and liquor anyway…and there's no sense in letting all it all go to waste."

Her inquiries continue. "Wow. So you broke up, but you're still having a party just for the hell of it? What do your parents think? Or James?"

"I talked to J about everything last night. He suspected something was up with Tori and me 'cause we hadn't really been spending too much time together. He felt badly that things have ended and I'm single again, but y'know, we didn't belabor the point. We're guys. We don't really sit around and analyze our relationships. I did tell him that Tori wanted me to start over in California. It pissed him off that she was just assuming that he and I would be perfectly fine with her plan when she hadn't included us in anything. But again, he knew his anger was a moot point because I squashed it, and it's not happening. So," I shrug, "we're good. No harm, no foul."

Bella nods after hearing my explanation.

"And my parents…well, they just want me to be happy. They know how hard I've worked to make my dreams come true, and it shocked them that Tori assumed I would just throw it all away. So I guess they agree I made the right choice. Nobody's gonna come out and badmouth Tori. Our families have known each other for years. And they're fine with just enjoying the party this weekend. My mom's biggest concern is for whether the party guests can return their gifts." I add with a laugh.

Suddenly, I see a strange look flash across Bella's face and she kicks off and continues her laps.

Huh? What just happened?

I swim after her and get right in her lane after she makes her underwater turn, heading for the deep end.

Narrowly avoiding a collision, she sputters at the surface, wiping water from her face, treading backwards until her feet can touch the bottom, "What are you doing?"

I look at her like she's nuts. "We were talking and you just swam away. You got a weird look on your face and took off. I wanted to know what happened."

Bella takes a deep breath in. "I don't know what happened, I got an odd feeling. Kinda like déjà vu, I guess. I could picture you and me in the same position in a swimming pool in my head. It weirded me out…I didn't mean to be rude. Sorry."

I offer her a small smile and wade over to her.

"No need to be sorry. If you have another feeling like that, just tell me. Maybe I can try and fill in the gaps for you."

She holds my gaze and nods. "Okay…thanks."

Several moments pass. We're staring at each other. If my eyes aren't playing tricks on me, I see her move, just slightly, in my direction.

"Edward."

I mirror her forward motion and raise my eyebrows, "Hmm?"

"I think I'm getting another feeling."

"Yeah?"

She nods in agreement and comes a bit closer.

"Any, uh, any chance we've been in a pool together? At nighttime, like this, I mean?"

I give her the slightest smile, affirming her déjà vu with a step closer and whisper, "Yeah. We've been in a pool together at nighttime. When we first started going out. Your mom found us there." I chuckle, remembering, "She almost got me fired. I promised my manager, Billy, that I wouldn't do it again."

"Wouldn't do what again? What did you do?"

"This." And bravery takes over.

I take the final step through the warm water and capture Bella's lips with mine.

Soft, supple…heavenly.

I don't allow my lips to move at first. I just relish the moment.

I'm kissing Bella.

Again.

She moves her hands to my shoulders, my arms encircle her back, pulling her body flush against mine. Even though the pool water remains warm from the hot summer sun baking it all day, it cools slightly in the evening… but the heat I'm feeling right now is radiating from Bella's firm stomach over to mine.

Soon our lips take over, pulling and sucking on each other, our tongues tasting and swirling around the other.

I move my arms up her back, threading my fingers through her wet hair. As we continue to lavish each other with soft sighs, hums and the sensual brushing of our lips, Bella moves her hands into my hair, lightly scratching at my scalp, tugging on the ends of my hair. It's always driven me mad; it feels incredible.

I effortlessly pick Bella up, her body barely swaying in my arms as I walk us back through the water toward the edge of the pool. I lift her higher, and sit her poolside, her legs dangling over the concrete rim. I just want to worship at her feet…I feel like I've been waiting a lifetime to get back to this spot with her.

Our kisses continue and our tongues dance. We alternate our head positions, leaning to the left and the right as the other does the opposite, getting as close as possible.

Bella opens her legs, an invitation I willingly accept, and I move in between them…I just...I can't get close enough, my desire may never be quenched.

My hands drop to her waist and I run them up the sides of her ribs and then all the way back down her thighs to her knees and up again. Bella's arms and hands continue to sift through my hair and down to the nape of my neck. I can feel the hair on the back of my neck stand as her sweet breath combined with the actions of her fingers drive me to the brink of paradise.

I'm so lost in the moment, I allow my right hand to slide back up Bella's ribs and cup her left breast, my thumb gently grazing her hardened nipple.

She moans in response.

My body's reaction is instinctual. I want her desperately.

I'm trying my best not to hump the damn gunnite wall of the pool. Way too painful.

I'd much prefer a softer landing zone...inside her. That clearly isn't an option at the moment.

I feel Bella shudder slightly within our kiss and I pull back a few inches to take in the situation.

"Hi."

She smiles shyly, with a slight giggle in response, "Hi."

"You okay? I felt you shiver," I whisper, my thumbs rubbing her cheeks, her lips.

"Yeah, I got goose-bumps. I think it was a combination of our kisses and the breeze that picked up a minute ago. I was fine in the water, but now, I'm feeling a little chilled."

"Oh, okay. Wanna go inside to grab some towels and warm up?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.

She nods with a smile, pulls her legs out of the water and stands up as I hoist myself up over the side of the pool, dripping on the deck all the way to the kitchen door.

"Uhh, hang on. Let me just run to the linen closet. No sense in both of us freezing our patooties off in the air conditioning."

I smile at her silly words and grab my shirt from the lounge chair.

"Here you go." She hands me an oversized blue towel that I promptly wrap around my shoulders and watch her do the same thing with hers. Her knees bounce slightly as she tries to get warmer. It's a very humid night, but the breeze that blows every so often cools the water that has soaked our hair and clothes.

"I can't believe you jumped in the water wearing your jeans. And after complaining about me wearing my dress! What are you going to do now? You'll freeze if you step inside the house."

"Mind if I use your dryer? Don't worry, I'll keep my lower half covered up." I respond with a wink.

"Hey, don't cover up on my account," she smirks, winking right back at me.

Minx.

I follow Bella into her laundry room. Once there, I undo the button on my jeans and tighten the towel around my waist. I reach underneath to yank down the sopping, weighty fabric along with my boxers, kick them off my feet, scoop them up and throw them in the dryer.

I turn around and realize that I had Bella as an audience for my disrobing. Her mouth is hanging open and she's blushing.

"What? See something that you liked?" I chuckle. "Did I flash you?"

"Nope, no free peep show for me. I just didn't expect you to strip that fast!"

"Sorry. Jeans were heavy and wet, I was cold…and I'm looking forward to sitting in front of the fire with you to warm up." I add, quirking my eyebrow.

She blushes in response to my musings. "'Kay. That makes sense."

Bella and I wander into her living room and she flips a switch to turn on the fireplace. I pull up some carpet and sit down with my legs stretched out in front of me at the edge of the sofa, right next to the flickering warmth.

She throws her thumb over her shoulder, "I'm just gonna run upstairs and put on some dry clothes."

I look up to acknowledge her, "Okay. I'll be here warming up."

She smiles and disappears up the stairs.

I allow the fire to warm the outside of my body, knowing full well that I'm plenty heated on the inside.

That make-out session in the pool was beyond hot. Definitely need to re-create that intensity as soon as possible. It can be done. Don't need a pool to do it, but it was perfect timing with her asking what had happened in the past and the moment just presented itself, so I went for it.

"Hey."

I glance over to see Bella wearing a dark green satin nightshirt that hangs to her mid-thigh.

Jesus, she looks fucking spectacular in the fire light.

I lift my arm, stretching my fingers to reach for her. "C'mere. Let's talk."

She walks over to me, her silk-smooth legs mere inches from my face. From this angle, I can see up to her panties.

Fuck. Black lace.

I'm a dead man.

But, oh, what a way to go.

Bella sits close to me, also up against the couch, her creamy, long legs stretched out next to mine.

"How ya doin'?" I start.

"I'm good. A little rattled, but good, I think."

"Why rattled?" This concerns me a bit.

"Uhh, I guess because so much has happened so quickly. I'm running into all these awful people. You're telling me everything you can, or at least in doses that I can handle. Then you say you broke up with Tori…and the next thing I know, we're making out in my pool. It's been quite a night…day…all of it."

I nod, understanding washing over me.

"I don't want to overwhelm you, Bella. I just…" ahh, fuck it. Since I've embraced the honesty thing recently, I may as well go for broke. "Ever since you walked through my door last month… you're pretty much all I think about. Even when Tori came back, I only wanted to be near you. God, and when you were dating James…" I shake my head, "it ate me up inside." I look down at my fingers, playing nervously with the tag on the towel.

"Well…I can't say that seeing you with Tori was the easiest thing for me, either," she speaks softly, "I knew I had no right, though. And it's why I ended things with your brother, before they…y'know…progressed."

My spine stiffens. Ugh, the thought of Bella and James together…please, don't ever have let it gone that far.

"Anyway, I knew it wasn't right to continue dating him when my feelings were so scattered. I couldn't get you out of my mind, but I knew you were unattainable…but now…"

"Now?"

"You're here," she whispers, looking up and finding my eyes.

"That I am." I whisper right back. Our gazes are locked. "I can't fight these feelings anymore, Bella…I don't want to."

"Then don't."

And this time we crash our lips together like it's the air we've been deprived of.

I hold her face gently as I nibble, peck, suck and tease her with my lips and tongue.

She boldly gets up on her knees and straddles my towel-clad lap. And we pick up right where we left off poolside.

I can't get enough. I tear my lips from hers and slowly place wet kisses down her jaw, neck and onto her collar bone.

She's scratching her fingernails down my chest…coming dangerously close to the towel sitting very low on my waist at the moment.

I just want to drown in her right now. I've put these feelings for her aside for weeks…years, really. And being here with her now, like this, it's just about the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. My heart is thundering in my chest.

I move my hands to the top button of her nightshirt, which sits directly in the middle of her breast bone. One undone button, and I'll have access to her superb breasts.

She moves her mouth to my shoulder and I feel her gently nibbling there. I push her back a bit, holding onto her so that she doesn't fall, but leaning her back enough for me to gain access to her breasts.

"Mmmm," I can't help the moan that escapes when I taste a mouthful of her soft, supple skin, her perfectly hardened nipple, erect, just waiting to be flicked by my tongue.

"Ahhh," she sighs, aloud, clearly as turned on as I am.

I move over to her left breast to pay it just as much attention as the right, if not more. I can feel Bella shuddering, straining as I continue to hold her in her reclined position.

I give a small tug to her nipple with my teeth and she cries out my name.

Yes. How long have I waited…desperately wanted to hear that from her?

I pull her back up so that she's flush to my chest. I need her lips, again.

They were gone from me for too long. I don't ever want to be without them again.

We continue to sink into the passion of the moment.

I drop my hand from her face down to her waist, where she's been grinding her hips so much, my cock is straining painfully against the fibers of the towel barely confining it.

I lift the bottom of her nightshirt and slip my right hand around her hips, my fingers dancing at the elastic band at her hips.

Bella moves her lips to my neck and starts nipping and sucking, her arms wrapped around my upper back, fingers tugging through the edges of my hair. It's driving me fucking mad.

She continues to swivel her hips on my lap as my fingers make their way toward the sweet heat emanating from between her legs.

I dust my thumb over her covered clit and she jumps with a whimper, her mouth moving instantly from my neck to my lips again. Deftly with one hand, I use a finger to pull her panties to the side and I graze my middle finger up her slit, finding her wet and eager for attention; I begin to play with, flick and tease at her sensitive clit.

My other hand has meandered up underneath her nightshirt as well, cupping her right breast and brushing the pads of my fingers back and forth across her erect nipple.

She's magnificent in my arms.

All of this while I continue to softly suck and kiss her neck below her ear, my hot breath adding to the sexy mixture of the moment.

I pull back up to her mouth, open my eyes and dart my tongue in and around hers.

I want to watch her come undone. There's nothing more that I want in the world this very minute.

Her eyes flutter open, stunning brown pools locked with mine.

"Come on, baby," I whisper as we exchange breaths.

"Oh…hhhhhohmygod…ahhh," Bella is panting into my mouth, giving in to the ecstasy of the moment.

I continue to kiss her face and neck through her release.

She's spectacular.

When her breathing comes back to a steady rate, she raises her head from where it dropped on my shoulder moments ago.

She offers me a coy smile.

"Hey there, pretty girl. Feeling okay?"

"Uhh, yeah. You could say that," she whispers and looks away, "are— are you…okay?" She finishes tentatively and glances down to where my erection continues to create quite the tent in the terrycloth that surrounds it.

I give her my half smile. "I'm more than fine. Don't worry about me."

She purses her lips, but then smiles shyly, "Well, maybe next time, then."

"Next time," I smile and wrap my arms around her small frame, hugging her tightly, burying my face in her shoulder. "I like the sound of that."

"Can I ask a question?"

I begrudgingly pull myself away from the warmth the nook of her neck provides.

She doesn't wait for a response, but presses forward, "Are we…what is it that we're doing here? I mean, this sorta came out of left field…even though we've both been dancing around it for several weeks."

"What do you want, Bella?" I decide to stick with brutal honesty. "I'm not going anywhere. And I told you earlier that you're all I think about. To be blunt? I want you. I want as much of you as you're willing to give. I want to date you. Take you out. Do it right. No interference from anyone. Just you and me. Can we do that? Can I take you out?"

"Considering that you just gave me the first orgasm I ever had that I've not precipitated myself, I think my answer is a 'yes'. Yes, I'd definitely like to go out sometime, hahaha."

Bella relaxes next to me on the floor, enjoying the warmth of the fire place.

I wrap my arm around her shoulder and she sinks into my side. We stare at the flickering blaze, lost in the pleasure of tonight's unplanned intimacy.

Moments later, the obnoxious buzzer signals that my clothes are dry.

I make her stay put as I go and grab my stuff and throw it back on. I walk back in to find her staring at me dreamily.

"Good God, you're magnificent."

I can't help the guffaw that escapes me. "What?"

She looks bashful but continues. "You're gorgeous. I mean, you know that, right? You don't have to do much to look hot as hell, but right now, standing here in my living room in your jeans, the waistband of your boxers poking out the slightest bit, barefoot, no shirt, hair slightly mussed from our little tryst here on the carpet…you're just...beautiful."

I sigh and shake my head, crouching down to meet her eyes. I reach out my hand and tuck a piece of her still wet hair behind her ear. "Thank you for the compliments. But I'm pretty sure you're the exquisite one here…I haven't been able to get you out of my head for the last five plus weeks, and for years before that…and here I am with you. I feel like I'm walking on air right now."

She sighs in response.

"It's gotta be close to three in the morning. Want to go get some sleep? We're both working tomorrow's evening shift. At least we can sleep in a bit."

I nod in agreement. "I thought you'd never ask."

Bella stands and threads her fingers through mine. "Let's go."

And I do. I'd follow her anywhere.

~~~~~L~A~S~T~C~A~L~L~~~~~

The next two days pass by in a blissful blur. I'm on top of the world…like nothing can get me down. Bella and I slept until almost ten the next morning. Wrapped around each other all night long. No more sexual stuff. I want to wait and take her out properly. Take our time and rediscover one another.

I have no idea how much experience she's had since our time together at the Flanders. The thought that Alec ever put his hands on her makes me want to retch. I wonder what the story is, since that Brooke girl said Bella never "spread her legs" for Alec. Did she manage to avoid him throughout their entire relationship?

I don't know that we'll ever find the answer. I wish we could. And has she had any relationships since her accident?

I know we still have so much to work out…talk about. I don't want to overwhelm her. We're gonna take it easy. Enjoy our time together…and when it feels right, it will be.

Bella and I worked together Thursday night. Exchanging knowing looks, playful banter and harmless flirting here and there. We tried to keep it toned down except for the moments when we were alone. With her recent mini-relationship with James, and me JUST breaking things off with Tori…we don't want to invite any more ugly rumors or innuendos, especially after all the recent drama that Bella has experienced.

Bella had Friday off, but agreed that she'd come to the barbeque on Saturday. We also made plans to meet up afterwards at the end of the evening back at her house…again, not wanting to flaunt our newfound togetherness.

We exchanged several texts throughout the day on Friday. Bella was saying she was going through more boxes in her basement. Her big discovery was a lockbox that she was unable to open. She's hoping there's something fantastic hidden inside. We'll see. For her sake, I hope that she continues to get answers, but I also hope these answers don't continue to hurt her. She's been through so much pain.

Enough, already.

Anyway, Emmett said he had some bolt cutters, and would open it for her when he got down to LBI after work on Friday night.

The bar got completely slammed from about dinner right through till closing that night, so I never got a chance to message her again.

I woke up this morning to several more interesting texts from Bella. When Emmett opened the lockbox, it seems she actually found a journal…her journal from years ago, the lost years, as she's dubbed them.

I have so many questions for you! Be prepared for something like the Spanish Inquisition when you come over tomorrow night, but not as violent. ;)

I can't wait to share what I've read with you, and I'm only on page six!

Holy. Shit. Why are you sleeping? I need to talk to you!

I can't keep my eyes open any more, but this is amazing. I feel like I'm getting so many blanks filled in. Would love to read you some excerpts, soon. TTYL. xo

To say that I'm eager to get her alone is putting it mildly. I wonder how far she got in her entries. How detailed it was.

I know I need to tell her about our final nights together before she reads about them. I don't want her blindsided like that. Not that it would be a bad thing at this point, it's actually pretty great…but heaven knows what she may have written once I'd left.

After arriving at Tori's parents' house around eleven, I get busy helping my staff set up the food and liquor.

Guests start arriving at two. It's great to see my parents relaxing and laughing with friends and family. They work so hard all year long, they deserve any free time they can get.

Tori's parents don't seem thrilled with my existence, but there are close to a hundred people at their house by the middle of the afternoon…it's not like I have to stand with them the whole time.

A few guests from Tori's side come up to me and offer their congratulations. I just politely smile and move on. I'm sure it was bound to happen. We only broke up a few days ago. Word probably didn't get out to everyone. I even notice a few gifts and envelopes sitting on the dining room table inside.

Hopefully everyone saved their receipts!

Tori is pleasant to me, she seems a bit nervous at times, which I don't quite understand, but whatever.

Bella shows up around three, after helping out a bit in the kitchen at Last Call with some prep work. Several of my chefs were invited to the party today, and she had offered to help out, so I told her she could work in the kitchen filling in the gaps for a few hours in the morning through the lunch rush.

I catch her eye as she walks across the lawn to where I'm switching out the keg.

God, she's stunning.

She's wearing a fitted black sundress that stops just above her knees and matching black sandals.

She's simply perfect.

No pretenses. No need for label checking or name dropping.

This is the real Bella. The one I knew was always hidden underneath that wretched exterior she paraded years ago.

She's one hundred eighty degrees from Tori. I've never been more confident that ending things with Tori was the right thing to do.

"Hi." Bella leans in and whispers while I'm crouched down, dealing with changing the tap.

"Hey, yourself," I whisper back. "You look very pretty."

She smiles in response, "Thanks. Can I help with anything?"

"Nah, you're a guest. Enjoy yourself. Did you come with Jasper and the family?"

"Yeah. Everyone is getting settled over there," she points toward the shaded area. "Alice wants to try and keep the baby out of the direct sunlight."

"Okay, I'll come find you a little later." And try to sneak a secret kiss or two out by the catering van, if possible. I try and convey my inner thoughts with my wink and a sly grin. She winks back at me.

Oh yeah, she got it.

Almost two hours later, and I'm getting antsy. I can't find Bella in the crowd. I'm being pulled in twenty different directions between extended family, friends, co-workers and the staff working the party…all in all, I'm enjoying myself…but I just want to be back in Bella's living room.

Just the two of us.

Where the hell did she go?

I can't really ask around, people would be suspicious of that. We agreed to not even let our close friends know just yet. For the same reason we wanted to keep it to ourselves at the bar, we knew we needed to get through the party this weekend, at least, before we started clueing our friends and family in on our feelings for each other.

"Ladies! Gentlemen! I'd like to make an announcement!" I hear Jack's loud voice booming from across the lawn. He looks like he's standing at a podium at a political rally or something. I see Tori standing nearby on the deck and Irina, Tori's mom, takes her place at his side as well.

"I just wanted to thank you all for coming today in loving support of our daughter Victoria and her fiancé, Edward Cullen."

Huh?

"It's a great thing to celebrate when two people, who are so clearly meant to be, want to declare their love to the world."

Holy motherfucking shit. What the hell is he doing? I find myself walking through the cheering crowd toward the deck, trying to make eye contact with Tori.

I pass by my mom and she gently pulls on my arm, whispering to me, "Honey, what's going on? Why is Jack—,"

"I dunno, Ma…hang on."

"I know it's a bit extravagant, but we wanted to surprise the kids with an early wedding gift. This paperwork here," he holds in the air, "is the deed to a brand new, state-of-the-art salon that our precious girl is going to be opening on Rodeo Drive in Los Angeles!"

More cheers erupt from the crowd.

Unbelievable. He went and bought her a fucking salon.

How long have you known about this, Jack?

And how FUCKING long have I been in the dark, Tori?

I feel the heat of rage start overtaking my body. She lied to me.

"And this right here," he holds up another packet of papers, "is a deed to a brand new, also state-of-the-art, restaurant on Wilshire, only a few blocks away from the salon, where my future son-in-law will make his living!"

Cheers, whistles, shouts of congratulations are coming at me from every angle as I slowly make my way to the deck. I feel like I'm having an out-of-body experience.

You've gotta be fucking kidding me. I feel the anger of Tori's deception radiating throughout my body. I'm sure to anyone else, I just look embarrassed, but right now, I feel so blindsided and furious, I can't even see straight.

"And finally…this envelope holds the legal papers and keys to a brand new home in Malibu for Victoria and Edward! My wife assures me it has plenty of bedrooms for all of the grandchildren that will be arriving in the near future, right, Victoria?"

She nods, with a blush to her cheeks.

"I trust I can leave that part to you two," he chuckles and winks at me.

"Congratulations, son," he whispers. "I think you just needed a little push. You'll see. It'll all work out for the best." Jack's got his hand around my shoulder as pictures are snapped.

I'm mute. I look out in the crowd to the stunned faces of my parents staring back at me.

I find James a few feet behind my mother, betrayal and anger erupting from all of his features. Charlotte is grasping at his hand, whispering what I assume are calming words…that or the quickest path to the kitchen, where James can grab a butcher knife to carve out my insides.

I'm frozen in time. I can't believe what's going on around me.

I feel like this is a slow-motion scene from a movie.

I turn to the side to take in Tori's face as she stands on the other side of Jack. She's staring directly at me. No remorse. No fear. She appears perfectly content and pleased with these revelations.

I see movement on the lawn beyond her as Bella comes into full view.

Though she's almost thirty feet away, I can see her bloodshot eyes, tear stains on her cheeks and a look of hollow anguish.

When we catch each other's gaze, she stumbles backwards a bit and turns toward the driveway.

"BELLA!"

I shout out to her above the roar of the crowd, but it's too late. She's taken off running and I'm surrounded by happy party-goers who are clearly here for an engagement party.

A party that was never cancelled.

I was just the dumb schmuck who got suckered into thinking it was a holiday barbeque…a favor to Tori so she didn't have to deal with her parents' wrath.

Tori and her parents, my parents, James…I've got to have a sit-down with all of these people as soon as humanly possible to sort through and clarify this clusterfuck of crap just dumped on my lap.

The only person I want to get to though… that my heart needs to get to now, is Bella.

But she's gone.