Chapter Twenty-Four

 Please note that anything you read in italics indicates Bella reminiscing about past events. Her journal entries are in bold and italicized.

 

~Confessions of the Heart~

EPOV

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" I demand quietly, gritting my teeth as I address Jack, his hand still on my shoulder.

He responds in kind, a smarmy look in his eyes. "Not in the least, son. Now why don't you go accept the congratulations from our guests?"

I yank my arm away from him, not caring how it looks to anyone standing around us. Fuck this, I'm outta here. The damage is done, now. All I care about is explaining shit to my family and catching up to Bella.

"Edward?" I hear Tori call out to me, meekly.

"Not now, Tori. I'll deal with you later," I sneer and push through the crowd, following my parents and brother who are walking around the side of the house.

I catch up to them in the driveway by the catering van. James is visibly fuming, my parents looking like they're trying to calm him down while Charlotte is rubbing his back.

"J!" I call out.

He looks up to catch my eyes and cocks his head, palms up in the air.

"What the hell, E? Was that a damn joke back there?"

I shake my head and start spewing venom.

"It was a fucking lie, every word of it. I had no idea Jack was gonna say or do that. I didn't know that he bought those places, I don't even care. I'm not going. All of that back there was a circus act. It's not true, not a word of it. This whole day is a charade; you've got to believe me."

"If you're telling me it's a lie, I believe you, but what the hell was Tori thinking? What possessed the Braswells to buy all that property? Are they just hoping that you'll drop everything and leave for L.A.?"

I shrug, still infuriated. "Your guess is as good as mine. But it doesn't mean a thing. I'm here, I'm staying in Jersey…and I broke up with Tori on Tuesday! We aren't together! Their whole family is in fucking denial, apparently!"

"Well, I'm going back there and giving them a piece of my mind! NOBODY has the right to bully my son, my SONS; trying to overturn every dream my boys have ever worked for!" My mom starts to stomp back toward the party but my Dad pulls her arm back.

"Esme, don't do it. Creating a huge public scene right now isn't going to make anything any better. The boys have a reputation to uphold in the community. They're known to be fun, down-to-earth guys with cool heads and a welcoming spirit. Flipping out like mental cases will only cause problems for them and for their businesses in the future. We don't want to feel any after-effects of this catastrophe. Let Edward deal with this on his own. If you want to talk to Jack and Irina after Edward makes things clear to them, that's fine. But for now, let's just go. We have plenty of food and drinks at our house. Go find our sisters and their husbands, tell them we're leaving and let's just disappear. The few friends that we did invite today have already come and gone. We don't have to worry about keeping up appearances. I'm just as pissed as you are, let's just go home and be thankful that we won't have to deal with this goddamn crazy family in the future!"

Leave it to my Dad to bring in a dose of comic relief when tempers are at an all-time high.

I turn to James and Charlotte. "Listen, I'm gonna talk to Eric, Dave and Meredith. They can take care of the rest of the party. The food's already been served. The desserts are already out for the taking. It was just a matter of pouring drinks and food service break-down for the rest of the evening. Why don't you two take off? Go somewhere so that you don't have to be around these fake-ass people anymore. Enjoy the rest of your Saturday, okay?"

James nods and pulls me in for a hug. "Sorry I was pissed when you walked up. Deep down I knew the truth; I was just so caught off guard."

"Don't apologize. I'm sorry you got wrapped up in it. I'm not going anywhere. Partners, right?"

"Partners," he repeats and gives me a fist bump and a smile.

I manage to return the smile and try to make light of the situation. "Hey Char, do what you normally do to make him feel better, wouldja?"

"I'm ten steps ahead of you, E," she winks back at me. And I watch them climb into Charlotte's car and drive away.

"You sure you're gonna be okay, honey?" My mom brings me back from the light-hearted moment.

"I hope so, Mom. Right now, I need to go find Bella."

I watch both my parents do a double-take, but my Mom speaks up first. "Bella? Your brother's ex-girlfriend, your new waitress, Bella?"

I see my Dad roll his eyes and take Mom's hand, "Come on Ezz, I'm sure we'll get the details soon," he clears his throat, knowingly.

I nod. "Yeah, you will. Just hope for my sake it isn't too late, okay?"

He slaps me on the shoulder as my Mom leans in for a hug.

"Call me tomorrow, okay? I'm so sorry, Edward. What a day this has been for you."

"I know, Mom. Just try and enjoy your evening with the family."

After watching my parents pull off, I find Jasper, Emmett, and the girls. They're confused by Jack's announcement, but understand once I explain the real story.

In my desperate anguish and fear of the damage that Tori and Jack's lies have done, I blurt out that Bella and I had gotten closer and wanted to start dating. I tell them how I'd felt about her all those years ago and that my only goal at this point is to get to her and make her understand the truth.

My heart belongs to Bella. I think it always has.

Even as a skinny sixteen year old kid just about to turn seventeen, I knew I was falling hard for that brown-haired beauty who made me laugh one minute and drove me insane with frustration and anger the next.

I don't go into the major details of our history with all of them. Ultimately, Jasper can fill in the blanks if he chooses to…and at this point, I don't mind. I just enlist their help so that if they hear from Bella, they'll contact me.

"Go find our girl," Rose says, sincerely.

I don't wait around for anything else. Bella took off more than twenty minutes ago, I've gotta find her.

I can't lose her again.

~~~~~L~A~S~T~C~A~L~L~~~~~

BPOV

I find myself wandering aimlessly down the crowded boardwalk of Ocean City.



Ocean City Boardwalk, OCNJ

In and out of stores.

Watching couples kiss and laugh and have fun, celebrating the holiday weekend…wishing they were us.

Edward and I.

I thought it was in my grasp. How naïve I've been.

I clutch at my stomach after it lets out a low rumble. I haven't eaten anything since the burger I grabbed at the party this afternoon. I've long since vomited that up, though.

I've been walking for hours, reminiscing about all the good and wonderful things that happened in the last two days between Edward and me, leading up to the disaster at the party a few hours ago.

On Thursday morning, my eyes fluttered open as I took in the bright morning sun that was streaming in through my bedroom windows and balcony door.

Waking up in Edward's arms was like a dream come true. Curled comfortably into his side, my head rested on the dip just under his shoulder, his right arm wrapped around my back and my right leg thrown over his. For having just figured out that we were officially interested in dating in the wee hours of Thursday morning, we were acting very familiar…but I wasn't complaining.

When he told me he'd broken up with Tori, my heart started racing and my head felt dizzy from excitement. Then, when he confessed that he'd been thinking about me constantly since I arrived on LBI and that he wanted to date me and spend time with me, my smile was unstoppable.

I'd been infiltrating his every thought, just as much as he's been monopolizing mine. That convinced me we were on the right path.

I recall thinking about telling James what was going on, and that I hoped he wouldn't be hurt. I also thought Rose might be a bit of an obstacle because she's so protective of me and hasn't been Edward's biggest fan to date…but, if both James and Rose were able to acknowledge our history and see just how much Edward and I felt this pull toward each other, maybe they'd also recognize that we just needed to take the road less traveled to find our way back, and ultimately, be understanding of that.

And even though I was momentarily caught up worrying about those necessary upcoming conversations, I remember putting them on the back burner almost instantly.

I just wanted to bask in the crazy, exciting, butterfly-filled feelings coursing through me because I was there in Edward's safe, strong arms after our passionate encounters in the pool and by the fire.

I permit myself a half-smile, remembering that I stealthily unpeeled myself from Edward's warm embrace when the reality of morning/partial hangover breath hit me.

After brushing my teeth, I shot downstairs to start the coffee. It was close to ten, and thankfully Edward and I didn't have to be in to work until four that day. I didn't want to assume he had the time available, but I hoped that he might want to spend the day with me until the last possible moment.

I headed back up to my bedroom with two cups of coffee. I knew Edward liked his black, two sugars. However, I always need mine to taste like a creamy coffee-flavored lollipop. More milk than coffee and five sugars.

I walked over to my balcony, opened the French doors and stepped through the flowing sheer curtains that instantly began dancing in the morning sea breeze.

Stepping outside and placing our steaming mugs on the little bistro table, I leaned over the railing to find comfort in breathing in the salty air.

A new day. It was a new day in so many ways.

I don't know how I was so foolishly convinced that things were on the right track all of a sudden, but with the beginnings of the new little nugget of a relationship with Edward at my fingertips, I felt like I was armed for battle.

I know now I wasn't even remotely prepared.

It was during those musings that morning that I suddenly felt his lithe fingers grasp at my hips, rubbing me gently up and down.

"Morning." He spoke, still a bit groggy.

I smiled over my shoulder and caught his eyes, "Hi." I looked down and away, a bit shy for a moment, "Sorry if I woke you. I just love coming out here first thing in the morning. So peaceful." I said, gazing back out at the tide.

"It's okay. It was missing the feel of you in my arms that actually woke me. That, and the smell of coffee brewing," he added with his signature crooked smile.

"Oh! Here." I grabbed the mug and passed it to him, "Black, two sugars, right?"

His eyes crinkled and danced in the sunlight, "Yeah. Thank you."

"My pleasure. Did you sleep okay?"

"I did. Even better than I did a few nights ago when I was in the other bedroom. I much prefer being your roommate rather than just an overnight guest in the spare room." He spoke softly as he pulled me into a hug.

I giggled at his silliness, and at the feeling of his warm breath tickling my neck. "Well, if you continue to play your cards right, I think I can pretty much guarantee that when you're here, the spare bedrooms will remain empty."

"Think so?"

I pulled back and smiled for him. "Know so."

"Hmmm, I will be playing those cards very carefully, then." And that's when he leaned in for a scorching kiss.

He pulled the coffee mug from my hand and it clattered down onto the table.

Heavy breathing, gentle moaning, lips tugging and tongues dancing. His hands were sweetly cupping and rubbing my face and tangling into my hair, while mine roamed all over his solid chest and shoulders. We got lost in each other for a few moments and then he pulled back, much to my chagrin.

"I don't want to pressure you into anything, Bella." He softly soothed, his forehead pressed against mine.

I retreated and looked up at his gorgeous face, taking in his Crayola mish-mash hair gleaming in the sunlight and his beach-glass eyes looking deeply into mine.

"I don't feel pressured, but taking my time with you and enjoying you, enjoying…us…sounds like just what the doctor ordered."

His crooked smile answered me, "In that case, may I see you Saturday night after the barbeque, Ms. King? I'd like to spend some more time alone with you. Watch a late movie while we're curled up together on your sofa, perhaps?"

"I'd love it. You've got yourself a date, Mr. Cullen."

It had been a perfect morning, our first morning together. The first of many, I'd hoped.

A group of young teenagers comes barreling down the street making noise, knocking me out of my reverie, as I turn down 9th Street toward the restaurant that James told me about a while ago, The Chatterbox.

I decide to go inside and get a glass of ginger ale to try and settle my stomach.

Sitting at the booth, my mind thinks back to what I found inside the lock box late last night.

There were several movie stubs, a half-dozen pictures of Edward and me, a withered, dried-out rose (unfortunately too old to detect its original color), a gallon-size zip-lock bag filled with dried rose petals, two CDs, and a red leather-bound journal.

I'd glanced through the movie stubs: "Finding Nemo", "The Hulk", "The Italian Job" and "Legally Blonde 2".

I laughed to myself after seeing the faded dates on the tickets. Every date stamp was between Memorial Day and the Fourth of July. I wondered if these were movies that I saw with Edward. It was certainly an eclectic collection! If I were a betting girl, I'd say he chose two, and I chose two.

It made me smile, and inexplicably sad all at once.

I bet we had so much fun together. As quickly as we found each other, we were ripped apart.

The dried rose and petals I saved made me wonder and hope if they were gifts from Edward from our short time together.

I couldn't help but notice that the dried petals had looked much more worn than the intact long-stemmed rose.

Maybe the single rose wasn't as old as the loose petals. Could the single rose have been given to me at a later date?

Next, I moved to examine the CDs. The first had a printed sticker with a label that simply said, "For You". The second CD was completely unmarked.

My interest had definitely piqued with their discovery last night, and I remember that I listened intently to the "For You" CD for clues.

The first track was "If You're Not the One". A sweet song, the guy singing clearly expressing that he'd fallen for the object of his affection.

The next song was "Miss Independent" by Kelly Clarkson. It was very fitting for those days, I suppose. Bratty little Isabella aka Miss Independent?

It had been hard to tell from those first few songs whether it was a CD that Edward made for me. Or one I had made for Edward and possibly kept a copy for myself.

Knowing I wasn't going to get any clear answers about the creator of the CD at that late hour, I couldn't hold back any longer and picked up the red journal with reverence, hoping…praying it held some answers like the Ark of the Covenant.

 

I pull back the cover and re-read the title page.

Journal of Isabella Swan

Started: May 20, 2003

If you're not me, go away!

(Yes, I mean you, MOM!)

I chuckle at my young ire. Clearly my mother had boundary issues back then.

I turn the page and find my first entry.

May 20, 2003

I've started my journal today, just like Mrs. Cope told us to. All the kids got journals at the graduation dance as a gift from the staff. Girls got red, boys got blue. School colors, I suppose.

I don't really know what to write about. I don't have any feelings I need to sort out. Mrs. Cope, our guidance counselor, said high school is going to be a crazy, exciting and scary journey for us. And it's important that we always take some time for ourselves to reflect.

Here I am, reflecting.

Oh, well. Maybe the mood will strike me in the future.

Nothing exciting to report, except that Daddy told me today that we're going to Ocean City this summer. We usually go to Loveladies to visit Aunt Didi, but she's in Europe traveling for the next few months, so instead of taking over her house while she's gone, we're just going to OC.

I'm looking forward to it. Should be fun. I remember the time I went with Court and her family last summer. The boardwalk is pretty cool. They have skee ball at the arcade and great rides at Wonderland. Oh! And some hot life guards, how did I forget the most important part? Haha.

Okay. I'm done here. See you soon. xo

I read through a couple more entries and get to the end of May, Memorial Day Weekend, specifically.

May 25, 2003

Okay, here it is. I think I'm falling in love.

That may be a little ridiculous considering I just met the guy, but holy smokes, he is so damn hot. I'm here down in Ocean City, my mother ignoring me as usual, and this gorgeous guy walks into the cabana Daddy rented for us.

Tells me he's our cabana boy, hello?

So I bat my eyelashes, flirt my butt off and, by the end of the day, I ask him if he wants to go out with me to walk the boards that night!

A date! Ahhh!

We had a fantastic time, he was so much fun.

He bought us caramel popcorn at Johnson's. He even won me a humongous teddy bear using his skee ball tickets.

And the kisses? Oh, my gosh…the kisses are incredible.

My first real kiss, except for that one time I played "One minute in the closet" at Sarah Jackson's thirteenth birthday party. Randy Gordon has nothing on Edward.

That's his name, Edward Cullen.

Like I said, I think I'm falling in love already. He asked me to be his official girlfriend tonight. Then we made out like mad under the boardwalk…just like the song Dad likes!

This is turning out to be the best summer EVER. And I've only been here three days! xo

I smile at my words and quickly flip through to where the journal ends. It's practically filled to the last page with writing, but I don't want to read what's written. I just check the date. December 23, 2007.

The night before I got married.

It suddenly dawns on me what might've happened. I wrote in it, locked it up…and then it got buried in the mess that my life became twenty-four hours later and for the next three and a half years.

I recall that "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down was one of the songs that played later on the CD. I continued to waffle back and forth over who created the mix. There were mostly love songs, some on the happy side, some on the angsty side.

I'm stumped, though. The creator could've been me or Edward.

Huh. It occurs to me that it might've even been Alec.

I mean, I married the guy. Maybe he did love me, even though he was a cheating bastard in our dating relationship. Maybe I loved him because I was a dumb girl who refused to accept the truth. Or maybe I didn't care about him at all and just ignored his indiscretions, because I knew the financial jackpot I was about to hit once the ink dried on my marriage license.

God, that makes me sick to my stomach. Sicker, even.

I turn back toward the beginning of the journal where I left off and read through every page, where I sound like a young girl truly in love.

Movie nights cuddling on the couch in the cabana. Sharing ice cream cones from Kohr Brothers on the boardwalk. Picking out the tackiest Christmas decorations imaginable in the heat of June at Mia's Christmas Gallery.

And the physical intimacy we shared? From what I've gathered in my writings, it didn't go much further than heavy make-out sessions and a few gropes over and (even once) under our clothes.

Edward knew that, at almost fifteen years old, I was totally inexperienced, and it sounded like he was too. We were a good match.

My heart skips a beat when I reach the entry for Edward's 17th birthday. I know it's his special day because there are hearts doodled ALL over the place, with "My Baby's Birthday" written in thick, red marker in the top margin.

I roll my eyes and laugh at my young self and her poor, soon-to-be-broken heart.

June 20, 2003

It was E's birthday today.

We've had the best, best day possible. Through his entire shift, I invented situations which required Edward's attention to me in our cabana.

"Edward, I need more towels."

"Can you bring me some ice, Edward?"

"Uhh, Edward, the ceiling fan won't work."

Every time I called for him, he would flash his crooked half-smile and walk my way. We were so sneaky in our charade. Once I got him in the cabana, we'd sneak kisses and hugs. Like I said, BEST day!

Anyway, I made him special birthday brownies in our penthouse today. My mom has been harping on me to leave him alone, but I'm not listening. She doesn't care that I'm happy. She's barely here as it is. Always running off to the club to spend time with her friends, or weekends in New York. Poor Daddy works like crazy to keep her happy.

If it weren't for Anna, I'd be alone practically every day. Anna thinks Edward is sweet. That's all I need to know. Who cares if she's our housekeeper? She's basically raised me for the last few years. Hopefully she's not going anywhere till I'm 18 and can be on my own. I'll always come back home for my Dad, but my mom can take a hike. I'll be happy to get out from under her perfectly manicured thumb.

Anyway, back to my honey. He loved the brownies. I used my allowance to buy him dinner at his favorite restaurant, La Spiaggia. He loves Italian food and told me he wants to run his own restaurant someday. I know he'd be perfect at it. He's such a people pleaser.

Some of the guys who work the other cabanas hung out with us tonight after dinner. So did Courtney and Kim. We went for a night swim, took goofy pictures and played card games. I thought my side would split from laughing so much. It was tons of fun.

I felt like E was a little distant at the end of the night, but he said it was nothing; just tired from a fun day of birthday stuff.

Anyway, time for me to hit the hay. Today was the best day of the year so far. The next best day will be in a few days when I can say "Happy one month Anniversary" to Edward.

This has seriously been the best month of my life. I hope he feels the same way. xo

Once I get to the end of the birthday entry, I close the journal and pay for my soda. It's after nine and it's going to take me at least an hour, if not more, to get back up to LBI in all this traffic.

I just need to collapse in my bed and end this miserable day.

As I'm driving down the road, I see the beautiful fireworks going off in the distance.

Call me sappy, but I was hoping to kiss Edward under the brilliant display tonight.

And even though I thought I was all cried out from earlier today, another tear slides down my cheek.

 

~~~~~L~A~S~T~C~A~L~L~~~~~

EPOV

It's been hours, and I've still heard nothing.

Nothing from our friends.

Nothing from Bella.

It's ten o'clock. I've looked all over this damn island for her. From the Barnegat Lighthouse all the way down to the Surflite Theater in Beach Haven. I've been in and out of restaurants and bars. I've checked the movie theaters. I've meandered in and out of sundries shops and ice cream parlors. I've walked on random strips of beach. I've literally been everywhere.

I don't know where else to look.

The muffled, booming sounds of the fireworks continue to go off in the distance.

At 10:03 my phone rings…it's Jasper.

"Hey."

"Hi. Listen, from the tone of your voice I'm assuming you haven't heard from her, and we haven't either. But we were just talking things through and thought: Ocean City. What if she drove to Ocean City? I know you've searched all over LBI for her. Maybe she went down there to walk on the boardwalk? Visit the Flanders? I don't know. We're just trying to come up with anything that's in the realm of possibility for you, man. You've got a team of people in your corner, here."

"Thanks, Jazz. Ocean City crossed my mind, but I wasn't finished exhausting this island yet. She's gotta come home at some point, right? I'm sitting here on her front porch hoping her headlights will turn into the driveway. Pitiful, huh?"

"Nah, man. Not pitiful. Persistent maybe, but not pitiful. It'll work out. She's a smart girl, she's just been really hurt by so much of late. This might have put her right over the edge. In her heart, she knows you didn't lie."

"I hope so."

"Hang in there, okay? And gimme a buzz if you hear anything."

"Yeah, will do. Thanks."

I let my head fall back against her front door.

I can't believe how this day went to such shit.

I woke up this morning feeling like a lovesick fool, just itching to get Bella into my arms again. And here I am now, just praying she'll hear me out long enough to not call the cops on my perceived lying, cheating ass.

Speaking of ass, mine is killing me from sitting on these stone steps for the last hour. Maybe I'll go out back and find a lounger or one of her deck chairs and continue my vigil.

I'm not sure how much time passed after I went behind the house to Bella's deck to continue waiting, but with my head in my hands, bent over with my elbows on my knees, I'm startled when the light in the kitchen suddenly comes on.

I lift my head to see Bella standing in the doorway of her glass sliders.

She looks about as pained as I feel.

Even in the sorrow of her eyes and demeanor, there's a fierceness she projects.

I quickly stand up, while she unlocks the door and slides it open. The screen remains between us.

She speaks first, sounding quiet and wounded.

"What are you doing here?"

What am I doing here?

"I— I'm waiting for you. I've been waiting for you, searching for you for," I glance down at my watch, "over five hours. I needed to get to you."

"Shouldn't you be with your fiancée? From the sounds of it, you have a lot of details to sort through before you get out to California."

I step toward the door and she flinches. Her words, coupled with her retreating movement, are like a vice constricting around my heart.

"Bella, no. There are no plans to work through. What Jack said and did today…they were lies, all lies. I promise you."

"Edward, please. I saw, we all saw the paperwork that Mr. Braswell was waving around this afternoon. You're telling me he's making it up? That those buildings haven't all been purchased and are waiting for you and Tori to move in and get to work?"

I sigh, exhausted, but not too tired to fight for Bella…for us. To fight until she believes the truth. I'll stay as long as I need to… talking till I'm blue in the face …but this girl's gonna hear what I have to say.

"Bella, how can you think I'd lie to you like that? Yes, I'm not going to deny that Jack has more money than the Pope has blessings, so I'm sure he really did buy all those properties he was flaunting. What I want to tell you is that it doesn't matter. It wasn't discussed with me; he and Irina and Tori did all that shit behind my back…and kept going with the charade of a barbeque when, to them, it was still an engagement party.

"I haven't gotten to the bottom of who knew what and for how long. Tori clearly lied to her parents, or maybe she didn't and they were just so pissed, that they made her lie to me…one way or another, today's party was an engagement party for all intents and purposes, at least in their eyes. It's my fault that I didn't put my foot down and cancel the whole thing.

"I thought that by being a decent person and agreeing to the holiday party, it would make it a little easier for everyone to remain amicable, for the Braswells to keep up appearances for a few more days, just so they weren't embarrassed. Instead, it blew up in my face and you were hurt. My parents were hurt. My brother…ugh. What a fucking disaster." I lift my head to the sky in frustration and rub the back of my neck furiously.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm sorry for what you saw and heard from Jack. My heart isn't with Tori…it's with you. Please. You have to believe me."

Bella's been looking down this whole time, hopefully listening and believing my words, but certainly not willing to look me in the eye to truly see my remorse and sincerity.

Still looking at the floor, she croaks out, "It wasn't just Mr. Braswell's announcement, Edward. I heard things…right before then. I was in the house and I overheard Tori and some friends of hers going on and on about how you wanted to get out of here, how you hate that James is a slacker…"

"WHAT!" I scream out, interrupting her and making her jump. "I've never said that about my brother! He works just as hard as I do, if not more! Who was saying this? Tori?"

She nods and continues. "She said you take pity on people and only keep them on your staff because you feel sorry for them. And then she…" I see her swallow hard and wipe her nose with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, "she said you had sex last night. Lots of it. She was bragging that you're so hot for her and you can't get enough."

I feel the bile rising in my throat. I haven't eaten or drunk anything for hours, but I'm about to hurl anything that's in my system. I step forward to open the screen door. Bella doesn't stop me. Instead, she just moves back and marches into her great room expecting me to follow.

Tori. What a fucking lying bitch. I can't believe she said this…did this. I— I can't even believe this is the same girl I was going to marry.

"Do you know what that was like for me to hear, Edward? To hear that you had her bent over a couch and later you were fucking her in the shower? The visuals that prompted in my head? I felt like someone reached in, grabbed my heart and tossed it under a lawnmower. 'Cause, you know, it dawned on me. I didn't hear from you at all last night. Not one response to any of the texts I sent to you after I got the lock box open."

Is she serious with this?

"Why didn't you respond to any of my messages? I mean, is there any truth to what Tori was bragging about? You had me half naked on my living room floor two nights ago; were you fucking your fiancée last night as well?"

My eyes go wide with shock and fury. I can't believe these accusations! What the FUCK? I've tried to stay in control today, but the other shoe has finally dropped.

"Is…is that really what you're thinking, Bella? I was at work until almost three in the morning last night! You KNOW I turn my phone off when it gets busy at the bar! All the texts you sent to me were waiting for me when I got up this morning! Once I closed last night, I drove the couple of blocks over to Four Seas and collapsed there, knowing I had to get stuff ready for the party! So, to answer your question, no! I wasn't fucking my fiancée last night!"

I'm shouting like a complete lunatic. "I don't have a fiancée. I broke up with her on Tuesday! What I do have, what I thought I had or was hoping I could have was the beginning stages of a relationship with YOU! And it's so ludicrous, because with you, it's not like a first or second date. I know you. I've known you for years. I've been thinking about you for years! It's more like a thirtieth date or something. We have history. It may not be all good and you may not remember it all, but we have history and that's what I'm remembering. What I'm clinging to. What keeps me awake at night and what has me dreaming of you when I do manage to sleep."

"You're in my every thought, every goddamn day! Having you walk back into my life six weeks ago was the best thing that ever happened to me! You've got me head over heels, stupid in love. I'm fucking falling in love with you all over again, Bella! There is nobody I want to be with on this planet more than you!"

I look up from my tirade and see more tears streaming down Bella's face. God only knows if they're tears of sorrow or joy at this point.

I'm so tired of all this insanity. I just want to be happy. I want things to go smoothly…no bumps in the road.

"Do you understand what I'm saying here, Bella? I'm in love with you. Too soon to say this? Probably. I don't fucking care anymore. You're here, you're back in my life and I'm not walking away from you again without a fucking fight! You need to know that I've never gotten over you! I don't ever want to have to…I just…"

I cross the floor in three quick steps and slam my lips against Bella's. She moans in response and wraps her arms around my neck. I pull back for just a minute to make sure we're on the same page.

"Bella. This is it. You're it. I'm here and I'm staying until you tell me to leave you alone. Got it?"

She nods her head rapidly, "Yes, yes I believe you," she squeaks out and lunges her lips forward to collide with mine.

I lift her up and she wraps her legs around my waist as I stumble back onto her chaise lounge sofa.

I suck and bite and breathe heavily as she returns my every move.

I reach down to her waist and yank her sweatshirt over her sundress and toss it onto the floor.

I push her head to the side and attack her neck with hungry kisses. Sucking, licking the sensitive skin riddled with goose-bumps from our intimacy.

Bella starts undoing my buttons but can't steady her fingers enough to manipulate the small, plastic obstacles. I take the initiative and rip my shirt open and she finishes the task by dragging it the rest of the way down my arms, until my hands are free to toss it aside.

We continue kissing each other urgently. We can't get enough. It's clear to me that we both know what we want and nobody is slowing down.

I stand up, still holding on to her, and flip her down onto her back. I go back to smothering her with my desire.

She has tiny buttons that go from the top of her dress, all the way to the bottom. God knows I don't have the patience to tediously undo each one. We'll be here forever and I just can't wait that long.

"Can we get this over your head?" I pant, licking at her collar bone as she groans in response.

She vehemently nods and I pull back to stand, pulling her up with me.

She stands before me, panting, blushing…appearing overwhelmed with need.

Trust me, baby, I know the feeling.

I reach down and roughly drag her dress up and over her body. She reaches up with her long, delicate arms and fingers dancing in the air as I finish my task.

She's wearing a strapless black bra, which I quickly add to the mounting pile of clothes on the floor.

Bella grabs at the button and zipper of my khakis and tugs them down toward my thighs. Gravity does the rest.

My cock is straining against my boxer briefs. Her hand moves down through my smattering of chest hair, leading toward the elastic waistband constraining my erection.

I turn her back toward the chair and lay her down.

The desire in her eyes matches exactly how I'm feeling. I reach for her panties and gently slide them from her hips.

If she's at all embarrassed, she doesn't show me. Instead, I watch her inhale deeply as I lower myself to my knees at the feet of the lounge chair and start kissing my way up her delectable body.

I start at her inner ankle, up to her knee, her thighs, my hands trailing behind on the path my wet kisses have left in their wake. I move up toward her hips, licking and suckling at a freckle that sits on top of her right hip bone. I move across her body, my tongue dipping into her belly button. I move my face just south so that I can pay homage to her incredible pussy. I place a soft kiss on the small patch of hair as Bella shudders in response.

I continue to kiss my way up her body and stop to pay particular attention to her perfect breasts. I lick and swirl and twirl my tongue around one nipple while my other hand massages and plucks at the other nipple.

"Edward," I hear her call out softly, almost breathless.

I pause my kisses and look up at my beauty laid out before me. "Yes, pretty girl?"

"Umm, it may not be the right moment to share this, but before we go any further, I guess you need to know that umm…I'm pretty sure I'm still a-uhhh…virgin. I mean, I can't be sure…I just... I just thought you'd want to know. So y'know… you might need to go kinda slow…"

She trails off, embarrassed, but I hold her gaze. I stand back up and remove my boxers so that I'm naked before her. I crawl back over her body, nudging her knees open for me so that I can settle in between.

I start with a chaste kiss on her lips and speak in a low voice. "Whether or not this is your first time, it wouldn't change the fact that I want to make love to you right now. I don't want to wait another minute. I thought waiting would be the right thing to do, and I almost lost you again tonight. I don't want to wait. But, after hearing what you said, I want to tell you that…no, you're not."

Her eyes crinkle in confusion and surprise.

"I'm not? But how do you…"

"Because I was there with you the night you…unbecame one."

"You mean, you…you were my…first?"

I nod slowly and dip for another kiss, my gaze locked on her glistening brown eyes. "Yeah, I was. I have no idea what, if anything, happened after that, but I can tell you that you and I were together right before I left Ocean City, and you were just as beautiful to me that night as you are right now."

A tear escapes down the side of Bella's temple. "It was you," she whispers, her voice thick with emotion.

"It was me." I reply and kiss her lovingly, trying to convey just how much our time together then meant to me…and still does.

"There's been no one since the accident," she confirms.

A rush of excitement spreads through me, hoping that maybe she's only ever been with me. That even despite our pain so many years ago, she only ever wanted me in this way.

I reach down between her legs and feel the slick arousal that coats her. My hand moves to the floor and I grab the foil packet I have stashed in my wallet. I nimbly sheath myself, and move back to where I was moments earlier…falling deeper into bliss with this girl who's captured my heart.

I position myself at her entrance, my heartbeat so quick, I feel like I'm running a marathon.

I kiss her again, licking, teasing, savoring as I slowly push into her warmth.

"Ahhh," she softly cries out, breathless and beautiful.

My eyes are tightly shut. I'm trying to take my time, but my body is so eager, I don't know if I can control myself.

When our hips are fully joined, I lift myself up on my forearms, next to her gorgeous face. I need to see Bella and capture this picture in my mind.

This moment…where we've come together again.

It's paradise.

"Edward…," she breathes.

"You okay? Am…am I hurting you?"

"No…I just…" She trails off and reaches up to kiss me again; I willingly oblige.

I begin to move, thrusting slowly at first, but then I pick up speed as our kisses intensify and our tongues pump in and out of each other's mouth.

Her legs wrap around my waist and she moans, as my cock reaches a new, more sensitive angle.

The friction we're creating is driving me wild.

Bella licks and bites at my jaw and neck. Her warm tongue feels fucking fantastic and drives my hips to swivel and grind and push her to the edge where I'm headed and I pray she can follow.

She digs her heels in my ass, causing me to whimper and drop my head to her shoulder.

"Bella…nnnngh."

I recapture her lips again, sucking and nipping, trying to draw pleasure out of every movement we make.

"Haaaa, ahhh," she's crying softly in my ear as I feel her walls tighten around my cock…squeezing, spasming as she free-falls into a powerful orgasm.

I thrust one, two, three more times and feel myself constricting…and then I'm falling with her.

I continue to pump slowly, matching erotic, open-mouthed tongue kisses in synch with the movement of my pelvis.

My forehead, neck and shoulders feel damp with sweat. I pull my face away from Bella's long enough to see a similar sheen of moisture glazing her skin.

Bella picks up her head, threading her fingers along my scalp and cradles my face in her hands.

Her thumbnail gently scrapes across my lower lip and onto my cheek and jaw as she exhales deeply.

"That was amazing…felt amazing. I mean…for my first time and all…even though it wasn't my real first…I mean, you get what I'm saying, right?" She's so adorably embarrassed right now. My only response is a sincere smile and a kiss to the tip of her nose.

She continues, her eyes welling up with more tears. "I'm so sorry I doubted you today. My mind's been playing tricks on me all day long. And knowing how awful a person I used to be, as a first instinct, it was just easier to believe you were getting back at me than to think logically through the situation and know you wouldn't do that to me…to James."

I answer her pleas with a searing kiss that I don't break for at least ten seconds.

"You don't have to apologize. You've been through a tragedy. And you keep discovering things that only continue to hurt you. I'm not gonna hurt you, Bella. I promise. I'm here now…and I'm not going anywhere. Do you trust me?"

She nods her head, a small smile playing at her lips. "I do. I trust you. We're in this together."

I respond with my most sincere smile, looking deeply into her eyes. "Together."