Chapter Twenty-Two

~Endings and Beginnings~

EPOV

I hear the chimes of my alarm going off somewhere in the distance, but it's muffled.

*high-high, higher-higher, lower-lower*

The same three doubled tones, over and over and over again.

*high-high, higher-higher, lower-lower*

Oh God, make it stop.

*high-high, higher-higher, lower-lower*

When I find my blackberry, I'm chucking it in the ocean.

I crack one eye open and take in my surroundings.

*high-high, higher-higher, lower-lower*

I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

Definitely NOT in my room.

*high-high, higher-higher, lower-lower*

Then it hits me.

There was wine.

Lots of wine.

With Bella.

*high-high, higher-higher, lower-lower*

Holy crap, I spilled my guts last night. Well, a lot of them, anyway.

As I reach for my jeans to silence the annoying alarm, it all comes back into focus.

*high-high, higher-hi—* …ahhh. Silence is golden.

I stand up and stretch, throw my jeans and t-shirt back on and head for the bathroom across the hall.

After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I open the door and —

*SMACK*

"Jesus! Are you alright?"

I reach down to help Bella up. I literally crashed into her, causing her to lose her balance and topple backwards onto the floor.

"Yeah…I'm okay," she responds, rubbing at the bridge of her nose and blinking her eyes rapidly. I can see them getting red as the moisture gathers, threatening to spill over. "I think I'm seeing stars. Nothing like the feeling of a nose injury, ugh."

"God, I'm so sorry, Bella. Do you have any Tylenol or ibuprofen for the pain?"

"Yeah, I was just about to get some to handle my crazy headache. I always get a headache in the morning after a night of drinking wine."

"I could use a dose myself, lead the way."

I follow Bella down the stairs, trying desperately, but failing, not to ogle her in her very skimpy tank top and sleep shorts. We reach the kitchen, where she grabs us each a bottle of water and hands me three rapid-release Tylenol.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Hopefully we'll be good as new in no time," she adds with a smile and a wince, rubbing at her poor nose. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah, like a rock, thanks. You?"

"Mhmm," she nods, taking a gulp of water, "I think I was gone before my head hit the pillow." She pauses for a moment after looking around, "Uh, I have some bacon and eggs, can I make you breakfast? As a thank you for dinner last night?"

"Sure, sounds good. I have a golf date with Jasper in a few hours, but I can hang here for a bit."

"Oh yeah? I actually have a girls' day out with Alice and Rosalie tomorrow." She starts to busy herself with the coffee pot and filter.

"Ahh yes, Jazz said he had to work around a pampering day for Allie. She deserves the time off. Jasper keeps some crazy hours at the hospital."

"Yeah, and she's alone with Tristan and Emerson without any relief. She was looking forward to Jasper's week off just as much as he was," Bella adds with a laugh, taking the bacon and eggs out of the fridge.

"I believe it. Tristan can be a handful and is quite the character. I think he gets his irresistible charm and vivacious personality from his Uncle Edward," I announce, cockily.

"Is that right? Well, when do you plan to 'wow' me with this personality you boast about?" She gibes.

I huff and shake my head in reflection. "I know I was lousy to you when we first reconnected. It was my wounded heart talking. Even though I walked away from you almost five years ago, the feelings, intense…feelings, I had for you, I guess they never really went away. I acted like a shithead, and you had no idea why. I can't tell you how sorry I am for that," I confess.

"Hey, it's okay. I certainly didn't know any better. I must've really hurt you. So I should say I'm sorry for that, right?"

"Yeah, but it's almost like you're apologizing for somebody else's actions. I swear, Bella… it's the weirdest thing. Because it's you…you're you and you're just as intelligent and funny and…enchanting as you were so many years ago. And any of the bad things that came with you, the sadness, the attitude, the hostility, the—"

"Eeeek. Before you go any further, can you tell me about what I did to you…said to you that had you labeling me so harshly? I mean, my family must have been very well off, and if last night's crowd was any indication, I kept company with some charming personalities," she adds with an eyeroll. "Was I…was I really that shallow?"

I don't know how to answer, so I just stare at her while I choose my words with the utmost care.

"Bella, I think you were a product of your environment. If you don't mind me speaking candidly…"

"No, please…it's…it's what I need to hear, right? As much as you can tell me, whatever blanks you can fill in…I knew there was bound to be some bad with the good."

I think about it for a few seconds and then dive right in with a proposition.

"Can I make you a deal? I'll tell you as much as you want to hear, but if you get saturated, you need to tell me to stop, okay? I want to help you, I really do. But…I can't hurt you. Not again. I don't have the stomach or the heart for it," I plead with her.

She nods, "Yeah, okay. Deal."

"Alright. Umm, like I said last night, as soon as you walked in on me and that girl… and I'd be lying if I said I remembered her name, she was that insignificant. Well, after that incident, you met Alec at Night in Venice."

"What's that?" Her brows crinkle in interest.

"Night in Venice. It's an annual event in Ocean City, usually at the end of July. Boat owners decorate their vessels in lights: any type of floating crafts, rowboats to cabin cruisers to catamarans, they all sail around the bay. Sometimes they even have themes and create big floats on their boats, like you see in a Homecoming parade or whatever. Anyway, it's a pretty big event, one of the largest boat parades in the world. People come from all over to see it."

Bella is listening intently, so I continue.

"So it was a big night in Ocean City and the King family came into town. Your dad knew Royce…from their jobs, I guess. Their family rented a cabana for the rest of the summer. It was Alec and his mom that mostly stayed around. Royce came down every so often on weekends. But yeah, as soon as you two met…you were pretty much inseparable…at least, that's what you showed me."

"I wonder if I really liked him, or if I was just trying to hurt you," she interjects, reflectively.

I sigh in response to her thought. "I don't know. You seemed content with him by your side. You made sure to show me at every opportunity that Alec was exactly who you wanted. You were all over him…sitting on his lap, letting him massage suntan lotion into your skin, holding hands, making out…you made sure I witnessed it all pretty much every day, for the rest of that summer and the following years.

"On top of that, your attitude was rather brutal. You always made certain that I knew my place. You ran me ragged every single day, sometimes with the most ridiculous requests…but I couldn't afford to disregard you. My supervisor was a good guy, he knew you made things grueling on me, but his boss was the real hard ass…and you knew that."

"How did I know?"

"I'd confided in you when we were first together that my boss was cool, but that his supervisor, Sam was a real pain in the ass. Y'know, 'customer is always right and can do no wrong'. Our heads were on the chopping block at any given moment. He knew the real money was in the cabanas, and especially in the families that came back year after year. Yours was one of those families. So after we broke up, you constantly held it over my head that you had Sam on speed dial, and he'd hear about it if I did anything less than what you asked of me."

"Good God, how did you stand me? What gave me the right to act like that to another person, let alone the guy who had been my boyfriend, whom I had professed to care about so much?"

I look her in the eyes and shrug. I can't pretend to understand her motivation back then. I always knew I hurt her with the set-up, but after a while, her constant mental and verbal thrashing of me made me question if that was who she really was all along. A selfish, spoiled brat, who had everything handed to her, and never had anyone question her motives or her treatment of others.

"Did I treat everyone that way? Or just you?"

"Well, I was the guy assigned to your penthouse and your cabana. You had minimal interaction with the other cabana boys and staff, and while you were always pretty harsh to everyone, I think you gave me the hardest time."

"And you were just a glutton for punishment? You couldn't ask to be taken off that particular assignment?"

"I did try," I laugh at the memory. God, she pissed me off back then. "At the end of the first summer, I requested a transfer of responsibilities for the following summer. My boss, Billy, said that if your family came back, I wouldn't have to work your cabana or your suite in the hotel."

"Let me guess."

"Yeah, take three guesses and your first two don't count," I chuckle in response. "As soon as you arrived on the Memorial Day week-end of that second summer, Tyler came to your cabana to ask if you needed anything and you pitched a bloody fit, screaming and demanding to see Billy and Sam. It was a mess."

"All because you weren't gonna be my cabana boy that summer?"

"Yup."

"Did you ever consider just quitting?"

I shrug one shoulder and get honest with her. "I did, briefly. Then I decided that I wasn't gonna let you run me out of town. I knew what I wanted to do as a career toward the end of high school and it was important for me to learn as much as possible about hotel and restaurant management. And, no offense, but you were just a girl. I couldn't let you become bigger than my dreams. If I let you get to me, it would mean I was letting you be more important in my life than I was…and I wasn't about to let that happen. I chose me, so I stayed."

She shakes her head in frustration. "Well, I'm glad you made the best decision for you, even if I didn't make it easy on you after our break up. And why did I even pitch such a hissy fit? Had we tried to patch things up? Did I try and contact you on the off-season or something?"

"Not at all. You left on Labor Day, and I didn't see you again until you came back the next summer."

"And I was still with Alec…I mean, as far as you knew?"

I nod, watching her get red in the face and completely worked up.

Here it comes.

"So what? What the FUCK? Did I just do that to make sure I could torture you day in and day out for the next whole summer?"

"The next three summers…yeah."

She leaps up from the table and starts stomping around, waving her arms like a crazy person, spewing insults and venomous barbs toward her former self and her former life.

"Okay, stop, STOP!" I stand up from my chair and hold my hands up. "Bella, enough. You ready to call it a day on 'This is your life, Bella Swan…err, King'? Cause I sure as hell know I am."

She collapses back into her seat and starts rubbing at her temple. "Yes. Yes, please. I think I've had my fill for the day. I think my headache is back in full force."

I shake my head in response and kneel down in front of her chair so that our eyes are level. "I knew this was gonna happen, Bella. I know you want to know what went on back then…but it's not all pretty. At least, not the parts I can share with you."

"I'm gathering that. Jesus, how can you even stand to look at me right now?" Her voice is warbling, her eyes filling with tears.

"It's a lot easier than you might think, trust me."

"Well, you're going to have to explain that to me on another day. Because from what you just told me, I wouldn't be able to stand the sight of me, let alone welcome me into your business and help me whenever I ask," she spits, wiping away the streams running down her cheeks.

"Hey, we're done. We're done until you say otherwise. Let's just eat some breakfast and start our day, okay?" I soothe her as I stand up, hoping we can move on for now.

"Yeah. Alright." She gets up from the table and grabs the coffee mugs, "So, what do you prefer, scrambled or fried?"

Edward's easy breakfast: Egg in the Nest

"Hmmmm. Can you do an 'egg in the nest'?"

"Uhh—"

Oh, she's so damn cute. "Step aside and prepare for lesson number two. Last night was easy dinner, this morning, easy breakfast. Here, toast four slices of bread, can you handle that?" I pass her the loaf and grab two frying pans from the cabinet.

"Oh, I can do toast. Just watch, I'm gonna toast the hell out of these pieces of bread. You're not gonna know what hit you! THEN, one of these days I will knock your socks off with my specialty: hot dogs, macaroni and cheese and chocolate milk. It's pretty impressive."

"Sounds like five-star cuisine, Paula Deen. Kraft powdered imitation cheese mix?"

"Nope, even better, Velveeta shells & cheese!" She adds with her own Velveeta-cheesy grin and a silly nod.

"Niiice!" I laugh at her self-deprecating humor and use a brief moment to take in my surroundings.

This girl has no idea what she does to me, what kind of hold she has on me. Even now, after all the shit that went down years ago, which I may or may not ever completely divulge to her, I can feel myself getting sucked in again.

Right back into her exquisite, confusing, captivating vortex.

It's just not this way with Tori. And if I'm being honest with myself, it never has been. For all of the highest highs I ever had with Bella, then and now, all the way down to the lowest of lows, I don't know that I would ever want to trade a lifetime of easy, comfortable and safe with Tori when I could have the fire and ice I had and have with Bella.

Even if I end things with Tori, and Bella says, "Thanks, but no thanks," it'll still be worth it. It took Bella walking back into my life to show me that I can't and shouldn't settle for what feels comfortable. I deserve the passion, the excitement, the twists and turns. I don't want to go round and round on a boring carousel.

I want a roller coaster. I want to know that there's going to always be something scary, exhilarating and new around the bend.

I'm snapped out of my inner thoughts when she hands me the eggs and toasted bread. I drop a pat of butter in the pan, and throw down two slices of toast, after cutting out a circle from each middle.

After I crack the egg into the center hole of the toast, I sprinkle a touch of salt and pepper on the yolks. Grabbing a gulp of coffee, I flip the 'nests' as Bella announces, "No white runny stuff for me, please!"

I choke and laugh all at the same time. Of course, I know what she means, but any normal guy would kinda think it was a letdown to hear a girl he's interested in declare that she doesn't want the white, runny stuff.

I swear, sometimes my brain still functions like I'm a 15 year-old.

After I settle down, I look over at Bella who's turning bright red.

"Oh, my God… that sounded so freaking vulgar…sorry about that." Her face is buried in her hands and her shoulders are shaking with nervous laughter.

I smirk and continue to tease her, "No worries. I'll keep my white, runny stuff to myself."

"Shut up!" She laughs, bumping me with a hip check.

I steady myself and grin right back with a slight head nod, "Yes, ma'am."

~~~~~L~A~S~T~C~A~L~L~~~~~

After my golf game with Jasper and Emmett, I call Tori from the locker room at the country club and ask her to meet me at the B&B at four o'clock. I know James is working at Last Call, and there is a cleaning team at my parents' place preparing for the holiday weekend. Not only are my parents coming into town, but my two aunts and uncles, as well.

All these guests are coming to the shore for my engagement party. An engagement party that, as far as I am concerned, is about to be defunct.

People aren't going to be pleased, but I can't let this go any further.

It's just not right…to anyone…least of all, me.

So here I am, waiting for Tori to show up. Hopefully she'll get here soon, so I can get this all off my chest. I don't want to hurt her, but stringing her along for even another minute would be totally unfair.

"Hey."

"Oh my God, you scared the crap out of me," I reply, clutching my hand over my heart.

"Yeah, you look like you're lost in thought. Everything alright?" She tosses her keys on the counter and sits at the kitchen table with me.

I blow out a big breath to get ready for brutal honesty, but she beats me to the punch.

"You're not coming, are you?" I can hear the anger and pain in her voice, "you've made up your mind about California."

I look her in the eye and nod. "I can't do it, Tor. I just can't leave everything I've built here. It's not fair of you to ask me to give up everything over here to start afresh over there. And I know how important the opportunities you've been given are to you. It's not fair for me to assume you could just put them aside to come back to LBI and open a quiet salon near the beach. You've been here eight days and I can see that we're worlds apart in our thinking. I want you to be happy…but I want me to be happy, too. And I know I won't be happy if I come to California with you.

"You could try, Edward. You aren't even willing to try? You're my fiancé, for crying out loud!"

I try to keep a level head and not get ramped up. It won't do us any good if we both start shouting at each other.

"Tori, come on. Aside from the first couple of days last week, when we barely surfaced from my bedroom, all you've done or talked about doing was spending time away from Ship Bottom." I start marking things off with my fingers. "You've been to Last Call once, you spent the entire weekend in Philly, you spent two out of the other three days at the club in Manahawkin where you're lazing around getting pampered, wining and dining with your friends. The ONLY times we've spent together have been a couple of meals here and there and a couple nights in bed, sound asleep. We've got nothing in common anymore, aren't you seeing it, too? Please tell me I'm not imagining all of this."

She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms, clearly not ready to admit the obvious.

So I wait, without saying a word.

Finally, she gives in. "No. You're not imagining it. I was just hoping that if I could get you out to the west coast, you'd be able to change your mind. I think you're being narrow-minded just assuming you'd be unhappy. It's incredible, Edward. New Jersey can't even compare. This place makes people complacent and lazy," she adds brashly.

"You bad-mouthing Jersey isn't going to make you win this argument. I was born in South Jersey, I'm not ashamed of it. I went to college and got my MBA at Wharton, nothing to sneeze at. I'm living my dream and I own and run a hotel, a restaurant and bar, a catering company and I'm about to open a 6-room bed and breakfast…I hope you're not insulting my choices, right? I'm hardly sitting on my ass, y' know."

"I'm not trying to insult you, I just think you could do so much more. You could be the owner of a club that Hollywood stars frequent! Do you know what kind of reputation that would gain you? Nobody shows up here. I just think you're selling yourself short. It's absolutely amazing. I know you'd love it if you had an open mind about it."

"I probably might enjoy myself, if it were a visit. But I just can't wrap my head around starting fresh out there. Not when all four businesses here are booming. Even if James came up with the money, which I know full well he doesn't have, he'd never be able to keep them all up and running. Our success has come from our partnership. I can't imagine both of us thriving, if we did it on our own. I'm sorry. I don't want to be the reason you're hurting. And if I forced you to stay, you'd resent me."

She smiles with tears in her eyes. "You've always been such a good guy, Edward. I guess I was just hoping you'd go along with my idea and not question it. Deep down, I suppose I knew you'd never be able to just walk away from everything you've built here…even if it was for me."

I hear her mumble a bit under her breath and sigh, running her hands through her hair. "So this is it? You're letting me walk away? We're done?"

"I just told you that I don't want to force you to stay. And I'm not coming with you. I don't think it leaves much room for negotiation."

She waits another minute, appearing deep in thought and then speaks up again. "Does it feel like we're more like brother and sister rather than an engaged couple?" She questions.

"I don't know about brother and sister, but it does feel like we've gotten a little too comfortable with one another. If we were missing each other so desperately, the way we always professed we were, I think we would've been inseparable for the last week. I guess it took us getting back together to see that we have grown apart."

"Yeah, I guess," she concedes with a grand sigh, "Holy crap, my parents are gonna FLIP OUT when I tell them about this. I can't believe this is just…over."

"Do you want me to do it with you? I know they've worked hard to coordinate this party for us. You shouldn't have to lower the bomb on your own."

"Nah. Let me do it. I'm their little girl. My dad can only look at my puppy dog eyes for so long. They'll understand eventually if I tell them on my own."

"You never told me, are they upset that you're not planning to come back to New Jersey to settle?"

"Oh, uhhh…no." She bites the inside of her cheek and looks away for a second. "They know it's a great opportunity for me to stay out there in Cali. I can pretty much guarantee they'll be hoppin' mad to hear that you don't want to join me," she adds with a roll of her eyes and a deep breath. "But…you and I know there are some underlying issues with us that can't be ignored at this point. They're just gonna have to get over it."

"I wish I knew what else to say to make it better," I add, sincerely.

"What else is there to say? I guess this has been a long time coming, right? We've been apart for so long. Sometimes relationships just can't handle the long distance thing," she says, resigned.

"Yeah. Guess so."

Tori stands and walks over to where I'm sitting.

"Can I at least get a goodbye hug?"

I stand up and wrap my arms around her. She returns the embrace, but it feels distant already.

"When are you taking off to go back to L.A.?" I murmur into her shoulder as she pulls away.

"Well, I would've left next Wednesday anyway, and because the fourth is on Monday, it's silly for me to change my ticket at this point. I'll probably just take off then. Will I see you again before I leave?"

"Yeah, you know me. Always rippin' and runnin'. I'll be around...just call me. Especially if you run into trouble with your parents. You shouldn't have to shoulder that whole responsibility."

She nods in solemn agreement. "Kay. I'll call you later, then."

I simply nod with a tight smile in response.

Seeing her walk out the kitchen door and down the back steps, I feel an overwhelming sense of relief. I can't say that I'm happy, I do feel the sadness in the loss, but there's a sense of peace...like a huge weight has been lifted. That could've been a lot uglier. But it's done.

Wow.

Single again.

Haven't been here for a few years.

Feels strange.

I guess I have a round of phone calls to make. And a lot of explaining to do. Ugh. This might not be pretty.

I pick up my cell and press 'M' to speed dial the first person who needs to hear this news.

"Hey, Mom."

~~~~~L~A~S~T~C~A~L~L~~~~~

BPOV

"Is this supposed to be relaxing? 'Cause I just feel like a sweaty, stinky mess and all I want is to have a cool shower."

"Oh Bella, hush. Some of us need a steamy sauna to help sweat off a few unwanted pounds. I did give birth to your goddaughter several months ago, you know. And no matter what I do, I can't get these last seven pounds off. It's pissing me the hell off!"

"Alice, stop it. You're gorgeous. You must be hiding them really well, because to me, you look exactly the same as the day you got married," Rose tries to calm her.

Freedom Salon & Day Spa, Brant Beach, NJ

"It's really unfair, you know? Emerson is cute as a button but a total chunky monkey! Nobody's judging her for her chubby thigh rolls or her triple chin!" Alice whines.

"Al, are you seriously talking behind your daughter's back? This can't be right."

All three of us burst out into laughter as I move to stand up and walk out.

"Alrighty ladies, I have a facial and scalp massage to get to but I need a shower before I go anywhere. This will be my first and last sauna experience…definitely not a fan of the sticky, sweaty thing."

"Oh that's just 'cause you haven't found the right guy…when you do, sticky and sweaty is what it's all about!" Rosalie and Alice snicker at each other while I just shake my head with a sad smile.

There is a guy. Heaven knows he's 'right'. But he belongs to somebody else.

"We'll meet up with you at lunchtime in the parlor," I hear Alice call out to me.

"Yup. See you then," I respond and head for the locker room.

Several hours later, I'm satisfied from a delicious chicken and pecan salad I had at lunch, and completely relaxed from the many massage and wrap treatments I've had throughout the day. I've also been waxed, buffed and primped within an inch of my life.

My final treatment of the day is a mani/pedi so I'm sitting on a plush chair in a dimly lit waiting room, expecting my name to be called any second. There are lightly scented candles burning on the end tables and I hear Enya's haunting voice singing to me about how only time will tell about love, life and your heart's choices.

I feel movement behind me. I look up, assuming one of my girlfriends has arrived in anticipation of their final treatment as part of our "Queen For a Day" spa package, but instead I'm met with the icy glare of none other than Brooke. She's joined by a different girl, not one of the three from the other night at the bar, but definitely a girl from one of my pictures from many years ago.

"Holy shit, you've got to be kidding me."

I look back down at the Cosmo magazine I was flipping through, suddenly very interested in, ahh yes, the article about "tricks to guaranteeing the best orgasms ever". Now that's something I'd like to do research on. HA!

If I could just get the guy…

"Isabella."

I sigh and look up, making eye contact, desperately wishing for the ground to swallow me whole. I am so not ready for another ugly confrontation, especially after finding out what Edward revealed a few nights ago.

"I heard about Alec. I'm sorry."

Whoa! Was not expecting THAT to fly out of her mouth.

"I was out of line last weekend. After I saw you, I contacted an old friend and she told me what happened. I had no idea."

"Okay. Thanks. I guess." Seriously. How else am I supposed to respond? You're apologizing why, exactly? Because my husband is dead? Or because you acted like a wretched bitch with your disgusting insults?

"I don't take back the things I said about you, though. Every word of them is true. But I am sad that Alec is dead. He didn't deserve it. And if he hadn't been married to you, he'd probably be alive and well right now. Tell me, how does it feel to add murder to your list of achievements?"

WHAT?

"Brooke!" Her friend scolds, just as shocked as I am with what this girl is spewing.

"What are you even saying, Brooke? If you knew anything about what happened to Alec, you'll know I suffered in that accident, too. And thankfully, I don't remember you. I don't remember anything about who I was, who you were or what happened all those years ago."

"I'd say that's fucking convenient, isn't it?"

Her friend speaks up again. "Brooke, let it go. This was years ago. It's over."

"No, it's not, Leah," she bites back. "She needs to know. She says she can't remember who she was or what she did, I'd be happy to tell her. How about the fact that you were never really in love with Alec? You only agreed to marry Alec him for the money your mother promised you. It was only ever about the money for the Swans and the Kings…and some fucking empire that your mother and—"

"BROOKE! That's enough. Leave her alone."

"Miss Kensington?"

"Yeah, that's me." Brooke stands up and sashays across the waiting room floor.

"Right this way for your treatment, please."

Once again, I'm stunned into silence.

Money.

My life only ever revolved around money.

I've got to get out of here. I can't hear any more.

"Sorry about that. No matter what you did years ago, she had no right to throw murder in your face. It's preposterous and cruel."

I make eye contact with the girl who seems to be speaking to me like I'm worthy of a respectable conversation.

"I heard a while ago that you were injured in your accident and lost your memory. I'm sorry about your family. You must've been pretty devastated."

I stare silently at her. I still have nothing to say.

"I'm sorry I never kept in touch with you. Well…no that's wrong. There's a reason we didn't keep in touch. But…I am sorry for the hurt you've been through."

I finally find my broken voice, "I'm sorry, I don't remember your name."

"It's Leah."

"Well, Leah…I don't think I really can take any more walks down memory lane today, but can I just ask you one question before I take off?"

She keeps eye contact with me and nods.

"If you knew me, or were my friend at any time, why aren't you still in my life? Or why didn't you come to visit me during my recovery? Better yet…here's a good question; were you even at my wedding?"

"No. I wasn't at your wedding. I wasn't invited, Isabella. I don't know if any of your friends were. But truthfully, I don't know that you ever really had any close friends. You never let anyone in. I have no idea why. You always kept us at arm's length, reminding us that we were never quite good enough. I don't think you were always like that, but as you got older, you sounded more and more like your mom."

Burning tears fill my eyes.

"I'm sorry you have nobody, but if I'm being perfectly honest, it's a reflection of who you were. We used to have some fun back in high school. You, me, Angela, Courtney, Kim. Ultimately, even our substantial backgrounds and bank accounts didn't cut the mustard for you or your mother.

"I hope you're happy, now. And making a better life for yourself. One that's filled with kindness and real friendship. Everyone deserves a second chance. I do believe that."

I wipe the tears that are running relentlessly down my face.

"Miss Clearwater?"

"Yes?"

"This way please."

"See ya later, Isabella. Good luck."

She walks out of the room without me acknowledging her departure. I feel my bathrobe pocket for the locker key and head straight to the little room where my belongings are.

I type a quick text message to Rose and Alice letting them know that an emergency came up and I had to get out of here.

I can't face them and explain my tears. I just can't hear any more sympathy from one side and brutal, ugly truth from the other.

If it wasn't apparent before, it's clear to me now that years ago, I was an obnoxious, dreadful, inconsiderate snotty bitch.

These demonizing characteristics will always follow me.

No matter what I say or do.

~~~~~L~A~S~T~C~A~L~L~~~~~

EPOV

"Last Call, this is Edward."

"Edward? Hey, this is Andy down at Joe Pop's."

"Hey Andy. What's up? Great season so far, huh?"

"Yeah, it is. Listen, I wanted to give you a call because I've got one of your waitresses here. She's pretty hammered and she's gonna need a ride home. She's been talking my bartender's ear off for the last couple of hours. I cut her off a little while ago, but I recognized her from your place. You wanna come take her home? She's been crying and is in pretty sorry shape."

"Jesus. Who the hell is it?"

Joe Pop's Shore Bar; Beach Haven, NJ

"She's your new girl. Bella."

My heart sinks. What happened now?

"Oh my God…I'll be right there."

"Justin! Dave!…emergency, I've gotta run!" I don't even bother to hear their response, I grab my keys and phone from my desk and take off out the back door.

I drive like a bat out of hell down the boulevard to Joe Pop's. I pull up in front, run inside and catch Andy's eye. He comes over to shake my hand and points me in the direction of Bella.

"She's right over there. I'm sorry if I called you outta work. I know you're busy just like we are this week, but she didn't have her phone with her and I knew she was your new girl on staff this season."

I nod rapidly. "No, thanks Andy. I'm glad you called. I can take her home. What's her tab?" I ask, reaching for my wallet.

"Don't worry about it. You've done me favors before, too," he responds, kindly.

"Thanks, man."

I shake Andy's hand once more and walk over to the bar stool where I see Bella sitting, holding her head in her hand and stirring what looks like a half-empty Shirley Temple.

"Bella?"

She looks up and we catch each other's gaze. I see her eyes well up with tears that start spilling silently.

"Edward," she whispers, wounded.

"C'mere. Let's go home. I've gotcha."

She slips off the bar stool while I hold her around the waist and lead her out the door to my car. Without her falling, I manage to get her situated in the passenger seat. I squat down next to her, to buckle her in.

"Hey," I start tentatively, softly, wiping my thumb under her cheek and tucking some strands of hair behind her right ear, "wanna tell me what happened?"

"I saw the mean girls again," she delivers softly, "I was one of the mean girls. I can't believe I was one of them, Edward. And even worse, I was mean to the mean girls. What gave me the right?" She looks up at me in agony and inner turmoil.

This poor girl. My heart is aching for her.

Confusion, heartbreak, loneliness. What can I possibly say to make any of this better?

"Shhhh," I calm her down. "Let's think about it tomorrow, kay?"

She nods with her eyes closed, tears still streaming.

I get into the car and drive back to Bella's house. I help her out of my car, but she trips and stumbles on the pebbled driveway. I decide to scoop her up in my arms to avoid unnecessary injury and I unlock the front door and carry her up to her room.

I perch Bella on the edge of her bed, slip off her sandals and lay her back on her pillow.

She's started crying again so I kick off my sneakers and crawl into bed behind her, spooning her tightly and wrapping my left arm over her body, my right hand's fingers pulling gently through her hair.

"I deserve this," I hear her whimper, "I deserve this pain and loneliness. Dying with my family in that accident would've been too easy...too kind. Living in this confusion and sadness and pain is my penance. Watching the guy I'm falling for celebrate his engagement, being envious of the loving relationship that Emmett and Rosalie have, the family that Jasper and Alice have built together…my punishment is to watch all of this from the outside looking in.

"I'm so alone. And it's becoming clearer and clearer, I deserve this hurt and torment. I deserve to be alone, Edward."

I sigh and try to pacify her with my words.

Whether she'll remember this in the morning remains to be seen, but I'm not gonna hide my feelings any more.

"I'm here, Bella. And I'm not going anywhere. As long as I'm here, I promise you, you'll never be alone."