~An Ugly Truth~
BPOV
Ooooph!
"Wow. Pardon me, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going," I sputter to the brick wall I just slammed into on my way out of the ladies' room.
I look up and see Mr. Hottie Not-So-Nice from last Friday. He's staring down at me as if he's trying to make heads or tails out of what just happened. Apparently, he's never had someone bump into him in his world. It seems that his force field of hotness coupled with attitude has been permeated. Oh, well. Moving on...
As I step to my left he steps to his right, then we do the same thing on the other side. During the third round of back and forth dancing, he grabs both of my upper arms and stills me.
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| Awkwardness in the bar |
"No. I mean, yes. I mean, I'm fine. Sorry. You just caught me off guard. I'm good. Are you good?" I answer him sounding like the complete and total spaz that I am.
"I've been better." He mumbles, but we're so close that I hear him quite clearly. And suddenly I don't think he means that he's physically in pain. Or maybe he is. This guy is just... odd.
"Oh. Well, I'm sorry again. I promise to keep my eyes open from now on whenever I exit the bathroom alcove." I'm floundering apologizing to this guy. I also realize this man is amazingly attractive, now that I am staring at him at close range. His emerald green eyes are locked on mine. Under his glare, I feel hypnotized. What more does he want from me? I said I was sorry. I even said I would make sure to always pay attention when leaving the scene of this apparently horrific crime. What's the protocol here? Do we need to exchange license numbers and insurance policies? What's the penalty for walking under the influence?
"Isabella."
"Yes?" Oooookay, how does this guy know my name? He knew my very specific non-alcoholic drink order last week and now he conjures up my name out of the blue? There's got to be more here that I'm just not following. "I'm sorry, how do you know my name?"
"You're Isabella Swan."
"No. Well, yes, I mean… I was at one time. But everyone calls me Bella. And it's King. My last name is King." I offer with a hint of a smile to see if I can coax Mr. Hottie Not-So-Nice out from behind his look of thinly veiled animosity.
"King." He repeats.
"Yes."
"Isabella King."
"Yes, Bella King." Hellooo? Is there an echo in here?
"As in Royce and Gianna?"
"Yes."
"And Alec King?" He sort of starts spitting out the names at the end. I find myself stepping back a bit and squinting my eyes to try and determine how this guy is pulling names out of thin air and pinning them to me. The thing is…he's right on the money. And it's freaking me the hell out, to be perfectly honest.
"Yes. Alec King. Royce and Gianna are his parents…errr, were his parents… hang on, can you tell me how you know my name and where you know me from? I'm trying to place your face, but I have some trouble remembering things." I figure this sounds much nicer and certainly less moronic than 'I suffer from retrograde amnesia and lost approximately six years of memories…by any chance do YOU know if I'm a virgin?'.
"Yeah. You mentioned that last week. Forget it. Sorry about the collision." And he brushes past me and walks away. WALKS. AWAY. Well, bolts is more like it; like he couldn't get away from me fast enough.
What the hell? And he STILL didn't answer my question.
I should maybe tell James about him. It's weird that this random guy seems to know me and the two times I've made attempts to pursue how he knows me, he blows me off and takes off like a shot.
Damn. Now I can't remember his name. I think he told us last week. Maybe Rose will remember. Or I can at least describe him to James and he should be able to tell me who it is.
Ugh. Isn't my life frustrating enough?
I have a mystery man; a hottie mystery man throwing out hints here and there that he clearly knows me from times past. I'm going to assume it's from before my accident, but I don't know that I'll ever be sure, unless I get him to talk to me in more than a three or four word sentence that he utters in judgments and riddles.
Rose and Emmett are deep in conversation at the table when I approach. "Hey, Rose. Do you remember the name of that waiter who served us last Friday? He was cute and automatically knew my drink order…any ideas?"
"Bella, that man is beyond cute. He is phenomenal. But…ummm, Eric? I think it was Eric. Does that sound right?"
"Eric. I don't know…I guess so. I thought it was an E-name. Anyway, I just ran into him again. I mean, I literally ran into him. We slammed into each other outside of the ladies' room. He kept calling me Isabella and was a little shocked when I corrected him and told him my married name."
"Huh. Well, he obviously knows you from your past, Bells. I didn't want to say anything to you last week because I thought it might just be a one-time encounter, but I think you need to know something."
"What, what is it?" A feeling of dread settles over me as I slowly lower myself into my chair.
"Well, last Friday night before Emmett arrived; when you went to the bathroom and the hottie brought our drinks, I pushed him a little bit to see how he knew you, knew your drink order… I actually asked if you guys dated."
"You WHAT? Oh, Rose…you're kidding me…ugh, how humiliating," I respond rolling my eyes and burying my face in my hands.
"Bells, relax. I didn't say it in front of you, because I knew it would embarrass you…but I couldn't help it! I got so excited that he seemed to know who you are! I had to take the chance, so I asked."
"Mmhmmmph." My face still buried, that's all the response I can muster at the moment.
"Well, anyway, he said that…ugh, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but if you're gonna work here, I think you need to be prepared."
I part my fingers around my eyes, clearing a space so I can see. This is gonna be bad. Here we go.
"Okay, so he said, quote, 'She was a raging, selfish bitch from the instant I met her until the blessed moment I didn't have to see her face anymore,'" she adds in a whisper, no longer able to look me in the eye.
My hands collapse from my face to my lap. I feel a cold sweat break out and my mouth drops open. I see the color drain from the faces of my two best friends, and I know it's just as bad as I must look.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't want to tell you…I didn't know how to tell you. Maybe you just had a run-in with him at some point before your accident and you guys just didn't get along back then. I really hated that he said those things about you last week, then when we pulled up here tonight, I started to get worried, knowing you might be working with him…I…I…I just didn't know what to do…or to say…I'm so sorry, Bells."
Rose is now in tears, with Emmett rubbing her back. My eyes are welling up; partially because of my hurt feelings and partially due to the sheer mortification of finding out that I could have ever been so awful.
What must I have done to this guy to warrant such things being said about me? And beyond that, to have my best friends witness such a scene? To tell Rose that I was a terrible person?
I just can't even grasp what's happening.
I feel my mouth start to water as the bile is rising in my throat and I make a mad dash back to the bathroom, lest I allow my Mack and Manco to make an unwelcome reappearance on our table.
I get to the stall just in time to empty my stomach. I have snot running down my face and tears pouring from my eyes. I'm flabbergasted. I'm humiliated. How could someone say those things about me? Who was I prior to the accident?
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| Last Call's Dining Room |
"Hey, listen. Rosalie and Emmett just explained to me what happened. I'm sorry about your run-in with Eric. I'll make sure that my brother knows to try and never schedule the two of you to work together, okay? I'm so sorry."
My eyes start watering again as I nod in thanks and grab my purse. My night is over.
"Bells, baby, please don't go. You can't go, I drove you here. If you want to go back to our house that's fine…but please don't shut us out, okay?" Emmett has a look of such sorrow and defeat on his face. I put that look on my best friend's face. My behavior, whatever it is I did, or whoever I was in the past, has my closest girlfriend in tears and my best friend looking like he's just been given a fatal medical prognosis.
"Bella. I hate to leave you so sad. I don't want to see you like this. Do you want me to talk to Eric tonight and have him back off?" James offers.
"NO! Please don't say anything to him. He was never mean to me. He never said or did anything to me that hurt me. It's what he said last week to Rose regarding me. I just…I just want to forget about it. I don't know if I can work here, James. My stomach is in knots. I haven't even started training yet."
"Bella, no please. I promise it'll be better. I'll call my brother first thing in the morning and tell him that you and Eric should never be scheduled to work the same shift unless absolutely necessary. Eric's a waiter and you'll be a waitress…it's a quick fix. It would be tougher if he was a bartender…but he's not! So there shouldn't be any issues with trying to schedule you both on opposite shifts. Seriously. We can make this work. I just don't want to see you sad. Please don't be sad."
"Okay, James. I'll think about it."
He sighs in frustration. "Alright. Lemme get back to the bar. I'll call you tomorrow morning, okay?"
"Yeah. We can talk more then. I'm sorry."
"What are you apologizing for? You've done nothing wrong! Please, don't be sorry. This can be worked out. I just want you to relax. Do you trust me?"
"Okay. Just…please can you apologize to your brother for me? What kind of employee makes demands about her schedule when she hasn't even started training yet?" Talk about warning flares going up.
"Stop. You aren't making the demands. I'm requesting my brother be aware of one specific employee's schedule. We own this place fifty/fifty. He happens to be the guy who does the scheduling, that's the only reason I need to talk to him about it. I'm the one making the executive decision here, okay?"
"Okay."
He whispers a final goodbye, leaning in and giving me a soft kiss and a hug. I pull away first, still embarrassed and not at all interested in being cuddly with anyone. So much for enjoying another fun kiss tonight.
"Sorry we're not hanging out, James. We'll definitely do it another night soon, man." Emmett stretches across the table to shake James's hand.
"Absolutely. It was good to meet you. See you guys later." He turns and gives me another squeeze and a smile and walks away.
"I'm sorry, guys. I just need to crawl into bed." I've lost my inner fight. Clearly, it's time to call it a day.
"Bells, please forgive me. I'm so sorry. I just didn't want that guy to lambast you one of these days. I guess I wanted you to be prepared so that you knew to steer clear of him if you'll be working here." Rose is a mess. I hate that she was the bearer of such an uncomfortable story, but her heart is in the right place. She didn't want me to be blindsided.
"Rose, it's okay. I know you weren't trying to hurt me." I can feel my lower lip starting to quiver again and my voice is getting warbley. "I just feel like I've been punched in the stomach. It makes me wonder what the hell else is in my past. I can't understand how I could've made such an impression on that guy. How did I behave? Was I awful to everyone? Or just him? It's bad enough if just one person thinks that way…what if there are others? How can I ever look people in the face again? What if I run into more people from my past that I don't remember, but they know me to be a sub-human?" I'm gonna be sick again…I can feel it brewing.
Emmett cuts my tirade off. "Bella, stop it. We don't know anything else about your past right now. We know that Didyme loved you. We know that your parents loved you. We know that Alec loved you…you two were married that night!"
"Yes. That I know. I know because my AUNT told me. Not because I feel it. Not because I remember it, because I don't. I don't remember anything. I remember nothing of who I was as Isabella Swan, Isabella King…whoever. I just want to know myself for once. For once, I don't want to have to make an educated guess or take a stab in the dark. If there was ONE thing I was sure of, I might feel better. All I remember is that my Dad loved me. And I only remember that based on my childhood memories. For all I know, I turned into an awful person before his eyes as well."
I turn to walk away but Emmett grabs my wrist, stopping me from leaving.
"Bella. Calm down. Let's all go together. We can talk more if you want, or we can let it go for the night, but I want you to listen to me and listen well. I don't care WHAT you did or WHO you were prior to your accident. Your life got flipped completely upside down on December 24th three plus years ago. It was tragic and awful and nobody in the world deserves that to happen to them. Since that time, I've never known you to be anything but sweet, kind-hearted and genuine. You would do anything for those closest to you and YES…I realize that's not a lot of people. But you are living with the hand that fate dealt you. You are not alone. And no matter what happened years ago, it doesn't define who you are now; the Bella we've known for the last three and a half years. Whatever that guy Eric said last week is irrelevant. Maybe he knew you in passing or maybe he knew you really well…and if he said you were a rotten person…well, he doesn't know the Bella that I know. If he cares to get to know you NOW, then that will show you the kind of character he is. For now…it doesn't matter. Let's get you home and talk about this when you're feeling better. Between the Flanders sighting and Rosalie's reveal, you've had a long night…and I know you're emotionally exhausted. Come on."
And with that, my hero rescues me again; grounding me as I begin to spin out of control. He's right. I can't fix what may have happened in the past with this guy, but I can try to change the future…I just have to find a way to apologize for doing more than bumping into him outside of the bathroom. I fear, however, that if I continue to dig any deeper, I may not like what I find.
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