~Storm Clouds Rolling In~
BPOV
As soon as I arrive at my house after our unplanned Friday night lock-in, I make a beeline for a hot shower. After pulling on a tank top and sweats, I dive head-first into my king-size bed and snuggle under the covers, wishing I had Edward to cuddle with.
If only.
I was proud of myself for the great restraint I demonstrated by not attacking him during our talk last night. The feel of his soft lips on mine, his tongue, his taste, his fingers caressing me gently; combined, they shot a flame straight through my body that not even a firehouse-issued, industrial strength hose could've had a chance at smothering.
His whispers, the look of sincerity in his gaze…I know Edward meant what he said when he told me that, in his eyes, I was always pretty amazing. That must count for something.
I want to spend more time with him. GOD, I want to spend time with him so badly. Joke with each other like we did last night. Make it fun, light, no pressure…but it's pretty much impossible.
So many years have passed and he's more than moved on. And here I lie, alone.
I hate that my mother felt superior enough to demand the break-up of our blossoming relationship. Just that piece of the puzzle solidifies the rotten memories I have of her and of her 'holier than thou' approach to other people. Edward wasn't good enough for me, so we had to break up? We were teenagers, for crying out loud! But, at that age, I suppose I didn't go against my mother's wishes.
HA! Wouldn't she be appalled right now to know that I'm waiting tables in a bar and restaurant where there are peanut shells on the floor and the most expensive thing on the menu is a 12-ounce filet at $28.99.
My mother, however, is the least of my issues at this point. I can feel myself on the precipice of falling in love with a man who's getting married to another girl. Another girl who wants to take him away from his brother, his parents, his businesses, his home…from me.
I could hear the aggravation and stress in his voice as he explained how Tori wants to leave Jersey and settle down in California. I could hear his apprehension at the thought of picking up and starting over again.
I know that feeling very well. When you're starting from ground zero and you have to build from there. It's not easy.
But Edward would have his wife next to him through all of the changes and the anxiety that accompanies starting from scratch.
I feel a pit start to form in my stomach. He's going to have a wife. He was mine.
It may have only been for a short while, but he was mine nonetheless.
And without my mother's meddling, would he still have been mine to this day? Would we be the ones getting ready to celebrate our engagement this weekend?
I feel my eyes filling up at the loss of an opportunity that was never given the chance to thrive, for so many reasons. I wipe away the lone tear that escapes over the bridge of my nose and attempt to will myself to sleep.
The last thing I think of as I drift off is the indescribable feeling of having Edward's strong and protective arm around me, keeping me warm in the chilly, dark wine cellar…and what I wouldn't give to have his arms around me now.
~~~~~L~A~S~T~C~A~L~L~~~~~
EPOV
Shit.
The phone slips from my ear-to-shoulder hold for a second time, so I decide to just hit the "speaker" button and put it in the console. The cops are out in full force on a Saturday night along the boulevard in the summer time, anyway. Don't need a ticket on top of everything else going on right now.
"So, I'm just going to stay at my parents' house with Carlisle and Esme coming into town at the end of the week, is that alright with you?"
Is that alright? Thank you, GOD! Time to think on my own.
"Yeah, absolutely. Does your mom need any help with set-up or anything for Saturday?"
"No, I don't think so. She said everything's set with the party tents, tables and chairs; they'll be placed by the rental company. And James called her and said that the food would be delivered early that morning with the catering team."
"Okay. Sounds like it's all coming together, then."
"Yup."
Jesus. This conversation is like pulling teeth. It's never been this way for Tori and me. What's happening to us?
"So, the girls and I are having fun in Philly. We went to this place called Swanky Bubbles last night and drank champagne and ate fondue till we couldn't breathe anymore…it was so fantastic. You should totally add fondue to the menu at the new place."
"New place?"
"Yeah, you know…in Cali…the new restaurant."
Here we go.
"Tori, I never agreed to California. Please don't start acting like one of those girls."
"Like one of what girls?"
I can hear the cluelessness oozing through the phone right now.
"The kind of girl that just railroads her man into making all sorts of ridiculous decisions that he would never have made on his own. Turning him into a pussy, a fucking Stepford husband. You're barking up the wrong tree."
"Ridiculous decision? I don't see what's so ridiculous about it, Edward," she bites back.
"Tor, seriously. I'm not in the mood. I've got too much going on right now."
"Okay, okay. I was just trying to plant a seed. Have you thought about it anymore, though? Coming out to California with me?"
"Yeah. I've thought about it. I've also thought about how James will flip the fuck out if I walk away from him and everything we've built together."
"Oh, don't be so dramatic, Edward. I told you last week, people do this all the time. He buys you out, you take the money and start up a new place in L.A. You could even still be his business partner! He'd probably thank you! You'd be making a shit-ton more money out there than you'll ever make here on Long Beach Island."
I whip my car into the parking lot at Last Call and slam on my brakes. This girl is killing me. What the hell happened to my sweet, understanding fiancée? This has to be some kind of pod person.
"Tori. I'm not talking about this with you on the phone. I can hear your girlfriends in the background, they sound trashed and to be honest, you do, too. On top of the fact that you're putting me on the spot and it's not fair. Don't bully me into this, Tori. I'm not kidding."
"Fine. Whatever. Listen, I've gotta run. We have reservations at The Continental at eight. I'll be back in town late tomorrow night. When do you work next?"
"Tomorrow morning. I'll be there through dinner."
"Okay, I'll stop by on Monday, then."
I allow my head to fall back onto the headrest. My eyes close tight and I can only nod in response to her statement…I'm so fucking drained right now and this was only a five minute phone call.
"Edward. I really love you. Please, say you'll come with me," she whispers.
"Love you, too," I mumble back, "we can talk more on Monday."
"'Kay…bye, honey."
"See ya."
I hit the "end call" button and try to bring my blood pressure down. I need to sit in my car for a few more minutes before heading in to do the inventory. With each passing minute of that conversation, it seems that my nerves continued to get ramped up. I think I've managed to run my hands through my hair approximately forty-three times in the last ten minutes. I take a look in the rearview mirror to survey the damage I've done before I can disappear to the cellar.
Ugh.
I feel like a lamb being led to the slaughter. I can hear the "tick-tick-tick" of the time bomb that's lingering in the back of my mind.
I don't know if this is right.
How do I get out of this?
How do I break Tori's heart?
I know Jasper told me this morning to not allow Bella to be a factor in what I decide about my future with Tori, but I still can't stop thinking about her.
How do I even know if she'd want to be with me if I found myself suddenly single again?
Especially after I tell her all of the shit that went down between the two of us? It'll be a bloody miracle if she wants to get close to me again. From the time she broke up with me in the middle of that first summer, up until that final summer night four years later when I put it all on the line with her and ended up walking away empty handed; there wasn't a day that one of us didn't seem emotionally charged.
Am I really about to do this to myself again?
With the same damn girl?
What's that phrase? "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." It's not the shame I'm worried about…it's the outrageous heartache that I don't want to go through again.
Okay. Time to turn my brain off for the next couple of hours. I just need to get the inventory done and go home to get a decent night's sleep to prep for tomorrow.
Sunday mornings come quickly, especially with the breakfast buffet that seems to always be so popular among the vacationers as well as our regulars. My mom loves that so many of the staples she served us growing up for big Sunday breakfasts have ended up on our buffet at Last Call.
Damn. Another pang of guilt or pain or whatever it is I'm feeling when I think about leaving Jersey.
How do I move across the country without having Mom and Dad there? My father's set of scrutinizing eyes giving a once-over of the new facility and even offering a pat on the back, showing how proud he is? How proud they both are? It doesn't matter how old you are; it still feels good to get that boost of confidence when you know your parents are in your corner and support you without fail.
And we've always been an incredibly tight family. Esme and her boys. I laugh at the memory. We thought we sounded like a musical group who could tour together.
Do I really want to separate from the fold? Have it be just Tori and I? Do I want to move out west after getting married and start a family with no other support system anywhere near us?
And holy shit, without my mother there to hold her first grandchild mere hours after birth? The woman will have a conniption if that opportunity is taken from her.
And James. The thought of even broaching the topic of leaving the business and my brother behind makes me want to vomit. After all the blood, sweat and tears we've put into establishing the hotel, restaurant and bar, the catering company and the B&B in the infant stages of remodeling, how can I consider walking away?
I can't believe Tori's asking this of me.
The cards keep stacking against the concept of leaving. And even though it does matter, this decision really isn't about my mom or my dad or my brother and how they'd feel if I left.
It's about me.
And I don't want to leave. I just…don't.
~~~~~L~A~S~T~C~A~L~L~~~~~
BPOV
"Hey…looks like it'll be a busy night, huh?" I casually say to Edward as I scoot behind him and reach for more peanuts to fill the bowls on the bar.
He smiles, while mixing a round of cosmos I just ordered for a group of girls. "Yeah, it's usually pretty crazy in the week leading up to a major holiday, fourth of July being the most celebrated around here. I think it's 'cause it's the middle of the summer, y'know? People have barely arrived for Memorial Day and by Labor Day, most of them have left for the summer to get ready for the new school year commitments back home."
"Yeah, that makes sense. Well, if this is just a Monday night crowd, I'll be interested to see what this weekend will be like," I add with a chuckle.
I see Edward twist his head, doing a double-take after hearing what I said.
"Not that you'll find out, though. You're not on the schedule, you know that, right?"
"Oh, um…yeah, I mentioned it to James but he must've forgotten to say something to you. I wanted to work since so many of you will be at your party this weekend. I didn't want you to be short-staffed."
"Oh," he starts with his brows wrinkled in confusion, "y— you're not coming?"
"Well, I would have, had I still been dating James…but now it just seems sorta…odd?" I have the inflection of a question because I'm looking to him for confirmation, that it would be, in fact, a little weird for me to be at his engagement party.
"Uh, yeah. I guess so. I mean, it'll be a great party, I don't want you to miss out on a fun time. Almost the whole gang'll be there," he adds, attempting to sweeten the deal for me, I suppose.
No sweetening needed, Edward.
The way I'm feeling about him right now, I'd go to a week-long conference on the art of lint collecting, as long as he were there.
"That's okay. I think it'll be better if I look after stuff around here. You said yourself that the holiday weekend will mean it'll be a madhouse, and if most of the staff is with you…I just think…I don't know…"
"What? What is it?" he's questioning, looking for answers I can't admit to him.
Edward can see that I'm trying to dodge this conversation. "Here, come with me," he jerks his head to the side to motion for me to follow him to the office.
And I do.
He shuts the door behind us, walks over and leans against his desk with his feet kicked out in front of him. Arms are crossed in front of his chest. His well-defined arms are taunting me underneath his black "Last Call" t-shirt.
He's posturing for a confrontation. But what is there to fight about? Honestly.
"Bella, why do I get the feeling that you're just avoiding the party because of…us?"
"Us?" My heart flutters at the term, but I quiet it down, glancing behind him to see the picture of Tori and him embracing in front of a Christmas tree.
He cocks his head to the side and gives me a look that clearly says, "Don't be stupid".
"Yeah. You know what I mean. You came to me looking for answers, I gave you some…and it led to us kissing…a kiss I still, selfishly, can't regret. We have history together that you just found out about…and I just…ugh, I don't know what I'm saying," he looks away, shaking his head.
"I—I'm trying to give you space. I mean, it's your engagement party! You should be happy, right? Don't worry about me. That kiss…it just—,"
He lifts himself from his leaning position, takes one long stride forward and parks himself about two feet in front of me with his hands dug deep in the pockets of his jeans.
"It just what?" he pushes.
Caught off-guard by his boldness, I stutter, "It…y—you…wha—"
"You've been thinking about it, haven't you?" His gruff voice whispers my way, searching for an answer in my eyes and in my words. His knees are bent and he's lowered his head to try and be face to face with me. I'm not ready to say it out loud, though. It's a bell that I can't un-ring once it's been sounded.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
Through the door, we hear Alicia's muffled voice calling out, "Hey E, two big parties and several sets of couples just walked through the door; Dave's gettin' swamped!"
He and I stare at each other for at least twenty seconds, a silent conversation passing between us as we ask and answer questions with our searching eyes.
I lower my gaze without another word and turn to walk toward the door. I reach for the handle and realize Edward has caught up with me as he places his fingers lightly on top of my hand.
"Bella, can we talk more later tonight when it's not as busy? I really need to—"
"EDWARD!"
"COMING! Jesus!"
"I'm sorry I got tongue-tied back there," I whisper in all sincerity, "I'll find you later and we can talk then, okay?" I offer, before walking off to the servers' station.
He gives me a small smile and nods, willing to accept what little I've given him.
The evening flies and by 8pm, as I start the extra tasks that complete my shift, I realize that Alicia just seated a table of three ladies in my section, so I grab my tray and walk over to introduce myself and take their order.
"Hi ladies, how we doin'? Can I get you started with—,"
"Isabella?"
I glance up from my tray where I just jotted down the table number on the ticket, to see who's called my name.
"Yes?" I'm not sure which girl the voice belongs to, but all three sets of eyes are glued on my face.
"What— what are you doing here?" I see that it's the girl with long dark hair who's spoken.
Suddenly it dawns on me. She's one of the girls from the pictures Rose and I found last week. She's beaming from ear to ear and seems like she's ready to chit-chat the night away.
"Uh, I work here," I begin with a tentative smile, "I'm sorry you—"
"You work here? Hahahahaha, good one; oh my God, you are soooo funny. Work here? Yeah, right," she adds with a giggle-snort and a roll of her eyes, "Did you lose a bet or something? My God, how have you been?"
My head is spinning with all the things I want to address from her last statement, but I can't go any further because she interjects again.
"Seriously, Izz. God, it's been, what, five years? What brings you to LBI? Are you here with Alec?" She looks around like my dead husband is gonna pop out from behind me, playing 'peek-a-boo'.
"Umm, no, I—,"
"Come on, come sit!" She squeals as she yanks my hand forward toward the only empty chair at their table. "Oh girls, I totally forgot my manners. This is a good friend of mine from ages ago! We knew each other from Ocean City during our high school years. Our families both had cabanas at the Flanders."
The Doublemint twins who've been quiet but smiley up until now 'oooh and ahhh' like this girl is explaining the Theory of Relativity.
I'm so confused, I've gone mute.
She points with her thumbs toward one then the other, "So this is Bree and this is Tanya…girls, this is Isabella…or Izz, as we all knew her…FIZZY IZZY!" She cackles so loudly that my face starts contorting in pain and worry, wondering what else she's about to reveal about me.
"Fizzy Izzy! HA! That's soooo hilarious, Ang. How'd you get that nickname?" Bree asks me with half-lidded eyes.
I give a half-hearted smile because the question was technically directed at me, but 'Ang' interrupts to give the explanation.
 |
| Sloe Gin Fizz |
Clearly, they've already had plenty to drink. If there was ever a chance of pulling any kind of information from this girl, I've got no hope now, considering she's already two, going on three sheets to the wind.
"Oh man, my sister's gonna FLIP out when she sees you here! She's in the ladies' room right now. Who did you say you're with?"
"I didn't…I said I worked here," I restate with an unsure smile.
"Hahahaha, Izz, whatevs. Oh look, here she is. BROOKEY! Hey Brooke!" She starts waving her arms wildly above her head like she's trying to land a 747 on Long Beach Boulevard.
I look over to see a woman walking toward me, whom I could only describe as a blonde bombshell. I didn't realize that real-life Barbies existed. Didn't I read somewhere that if the Barbie Doll had actually been human, her bust size compared to her waist and hips, wouldn't have allowed her to walk upright?
Yeah well, this puts that myth to rest.
"Holy. Shit. Look what the cat dragged in. Isabella Swan…or is it King, now? Never thought I'd have to see you again."
My eyes widen at this new girl's reaction to me. I don't know what to say, her sentiment seems less than magnanimous; if I were a betting girl, I'd say she's not my biggest fan.
"Where's your husband? The grapevine reported he was finally gonna tie the knot several years back. Though I can't imagine why, especially to you," she adds with an obnoxious roll of her eyes.
My mind is racing. There's way too much happening at once. I barely started to accept this person, Angela, as one of my acquaintances from years ago, before her sister arrived and started talking down to me like I wasn't worthy of licking her Jimmy Choos.
"Oh Brookey, stop being such a sore loser and watch your manners," Angela chides. Her two girlfriends have become suspiciously quiet and are following the conversation like they're watching a tennis match.
"Are we seriously playing this game, Isabella? You've got nothing to say?" She flips her hair and drops her purse on the table. "You're gonna act like you don't know me?" Brooke falls into her seat and clicks her tongue as she continues in a murmur that I'm certain I'm meant to hear, "I guess we all know where you got your blind eye from…your father was always fucking clueless, too."
When I finally open my mouth to address these confusing accusations hurled at me at warp speed, I see and feel Edward press up next to me and take over the conversation.
"Ooookay, hey ladies. Um, Bella's going on a break now, so Alicia here will be more than happy to take care of you. I've gone ahead and brought over a pot of coffee for you while you decide on dinner."
"Oh my God, look who it is. Jesus, you really are slumming it, aren't you Isabella? The fucking cabana boy? Are you serious?"
She turns to Edward and continues her diatribe.
"Didn't she mind-fuck you enough, Cabana Boy? With her on again-off again flirtations? She never wanted you back then because you weren't good enough, is she acting like she wants you now? You pined away for her summer after summer, did you finally fuck her outta your system? Lord knows she wasn't giving it up for Alec, maybe she finally spread her legs for you."
I see Edward open his mouth, his nostrils flaring. He's visibly shaken. I've officially zoned out…too stupid and shocked to form any words at all. I can't even believe what I'm hearing, but then James's voice pierces through the accusations and viciousness; he speaks softly but firmly.
"Ladies. This is a family place, I'm gonna need you to keep your voices down or you'll have to leave," then he turns to Edward and mumbles something in his ear, to which Edward nods in response.
"I mean honestly, you weren't good enough for Alec, and you had the nerve to think you were too good for anyone…he should've left you at the…"
I'm stunned into silence listening to that girl's tirade fade into the distance as I feel Edward's strong hand on the small of my back ushering me quickly through the restaurant, out the back door and into the parking lot.
It's not until we get to my car that I regain the power of speech.
"What— what the hell was that all about in there?" I'm pointing toward the bar as if he doesn't know exactly where we were and what just occurred. "Edward, do you know who those girls were?"
Scrubbing his hands brusquely over his face, he responds, "Yeah, I do. Listen, let me follow you home. We can talk about it there…I mean, if that's okay with you. I can fill in some of the blanks. I'm sorry you just had to go through all that. I'm sorry I couldn't stop it in time."
I nod. I have no clue what to think or what to say. Edward said he'd help me, so I'll wait.
But I do feel a sick pit forming in my stomach. More ugliness uncovered.
If Edward had been a catty bitch, he might've said the same things to me last month when we met…again.
I walk toward my car after Edward passes me my keys but stop dead in my tracks and spin around saying the only logical thing that comes to mind.
"But wait! I didn't even finish my shift or my pre-closing responsibilities!"
Edward huffs, sporting a half-smile and shaking his head. "You're off in like twenty minutes, Bella. And I got done about two hours ago. Let's go. They don't need us for the rest of the night…Alicia, Meredith and James can handle it, we're good."
"Oh…okay."
"Hey, did you grab any dinner during your shift?"
What? Is he asking me about food? I shake my head to focus. "No. No, I haven't eaten since breakfast."
"Alright, tell ya what, I'm gonna grab a few things and then I'll be over. I'll cook you dinner. I owe you the meal you didn't get a chance to eat at the restaurant since we were swamped during the dinner rush."
"Edward, you don't have to cook for me. I don't always eat here during my shift."
"Well, then I definitely owe you, don't I?" He's going for levity in a situation that's wrought with discomfort. "I'll be right behind you, I'm just gonna run into Shoprite. Gimme ten minutes."
I swallow and nod again. I'm so shaken up by what just transpired in the restaurant. "Okay…see you soon."
I drive back to my house, trying to make sense of what went on this evening.
Why the hell was that girl so freaking mean and crude? And what was that barb about being blind just like my father?
And what did I possibly do or say to Edward years ago, that this girl knew about, that would have her slinging such horrid and disgusting accusations and insults at him?
With Edward on his way to my house, I suppose I'm about to find out.
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